Overcoming Negative Thoughts: Kindness and Wisdom

Gabriella Rujsz
7 min readAug 2, 2024

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by Gabriella | Mental Health, Mindfulness and Spirituality, Personal Development, Self-Improvement

In our fast-paced, ever-changing world, maintaining inner peace can often feel like an insuperable challenge.
Negative thoughts can creep in, unsettling our minds, while the balance between kindness and wisdom can seem elusive. In self-discovery and spiritual growth, we often encounter challenges that test our inner peace and kindness.

As sensitive individuals, it is natural to experience negative thoughts and emotions.
However, it is crucial to understand that these thoughts do not define us.
Instead, our response to them shapes our reality.

Drawing from Zen teachings and insights from A Course in Miracles (ACIM), this post aims to offer practical guidance on how to overcome negative thoughts and achieve a harmonious balance in life.

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Mastering Inner Peace — Overcoming Negative Thoughts and Balancing Kindness with Wisdom

Overcoming Negative Thoughts

In the quest for inner peace, the challenge often lies not just in confronting our negative thoughts but in balancing our compassion with discernment.
Recently, a Buddhist monk’s teachings profoundly impacted me.
In a video I watched last week, he shared a poignant quote: “Positive people also have negative thoughts; they just don’t let these thoughts control them.
This insight resonated deeply, revealing a profound truth about our human experience.

We all encounter negative thoughts from time to time.
They are part of being human, yet they do not have to dictate our lives or our inner state.
Embracing this understanding can lead us toward a more balanced life, where kindness is harmoniously paired with wisdom.
The journey to mastering inner peace involves not only overcoming these thoughts but also learning to navigate our interactions with others in a way that honors both our well-being and the well-being of those around us.

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Positive People Also Have Negative Thoughts — A Path to Overcoming Negative Thoughts, and The Ego’s Attacks and Self-Criticism

In our journey towards inner peace, we must recognize that even the most positive individuals experience negative thoughts.
As the quote beautifully puts it, “Positive people also have negative thoughts, they just don’t let these thoughts control them.
This profound yet simple statement reminds us that our thoughts do not define us. Rather, it’s our response to these thoughts that shape our reality.

As sensitive beings, our inner small self or ego can often launch attacks, criticism, and self-doubt, making us question our positivity when negative thoughts arise.
It’s important to understand that these thoughts are merely fleeting mental events and not reflections of our true Self.
Our ego thrives on creating turmoil and confusion, often distorting our perception of reality.
It is crucial to recognize that these thoughts are not reality; they are simply manifestations of the ego’s desire to undermine our peace.

Negative thoughts are an inevitable part of the human experience. Even the most positive individuals encounter them.
However, what sets them apart is their ability to prevent these thoughts from taking control.

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Embracing the Teachings of A Course in Miracles (ACIM) — Embracing Our Human Experience While Overcoming Negative Thoughts

A Course in Miracles teaches us that we are Spirit having a human experience.
While we inhabit human bodies with senses and emotions, our true essence remains spiritual.
The ego, with its incessant need for control and validation, often clouds our vision, leading us to believe in the false narratives it creates.
By recognizing the ego’s influence, we can begin to disarm its attacks and find peace in the understanding that negative thoughts are not a sign of failure but a natural part of the human experience.

In ACIM, it is emphasized that our true Self is beyond the ego’s reach.
This Self is rooted in love, peace, and eternal truth.
By grounding ourselves in this understanding, we can navigate negative thoughts with grace, acknowledging them without letting them take control. When we align with our true Self, we realize that our worth is not determined by the transient thoughts that pass through our minds.

A Course in Miracles teaches us that our ego thrives on the illusion of control and certainty.
It wants to know everything, to be right, and to categorize experiences into familiar boxes.
This relentless need for understanding and domination often leads to conflict and separation.
When we are driven by the ego, we view uncertainty as a threat rather than an opportunity for growth.

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ACIM Perspective — The Ego vs. The True Self

A Course in Miracles offers profound insights into the nature of the ego and the true Self.
The ego thrives on fear, control, and separation, constantly seeking validation and certainty.
It convinces us that knowing everything and controlling every aspect of our lives will bring peace. However, this is a fallacy.
True peace comes from embracing the unknown and trusting our inner wisdom.

It teaches us that the ego’s need for certainty and control is an illusion.
By recognizing this, we can begin to let go of the ego’s grip and connect with our true Self, which is inherently peaceful and wise.
As ACIM beautifully states, “Selfishness is of the ego, and self-fullness is of the spirit.” This distinction helps us understand that caring for ourselves from a place of spirit is not selfish, but necessary for true well-being.

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The Role of Self-Fullness and Selfishness — The Difference Between Selfishness and Self-Fullness in Overcoming Negative Thoughts

ACIM distinguishes between selfishness and self-fullness. Selfishness is a trait of the ego, characterized by a self-centered approach that seeks to fulfill personal desires at the expense of others. It creates separation and reinforces the ego’s illusion of individuality and scarcity.

Self-fullness, on the other hand, is rooted in the spirit.
It recognizes the interconnectedness of all beings and understands that true fulfillment comes from nurturing oneself while also contributing to the collective good.
Self-fullness is about maintaining a healthy balance between giving and receiving, ensuring that our energy is replenished and our well-being is sustained.

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Balancing Kindness with Wisdom — Essential for Overcoming Negative Thoughts

A valuable Zen teaching speaks to the balance between kindness and wisdom.
Listening to our hearts and trusting our gut feelings is key when we feel we are being taken advantage of or encountering dishonesty.
In such situations, it’s important to say no.
Purely giving without receiving can lead to depletion and suffering, negating the essence of true kindness.

Kindness is a virtue often celebrated, but it must be balanced with wisdom to avoid being taken advantage of.
Trusting our intuitions and listening to our hearts can help us discern when to say no.
Kindness without boundaries can lead to suffering, both for ourselves and others. It is essential to maintain a balance where our energy is replenished and not depleted.

True kindness involves setting boundaries and recognizing when our generosity is being exploited.
When we give endlessly without regard for our needs, we risk burnout and resentment.
To cultivate genuine kindness, we must also practice self-care and ensure that our actions come from a place of abundance rather than obligation.

Zen wisdom teaches us that true kindness is not about self-sacrifice, but about maintaining equilibrium.
When we give from a place of abundance and self-respect, our kindness becomes more impactful and sustainable. This balanced approach ensures that we do not suffer in the name of kindness, but rather, thrive in mutual respect and understanding.

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The Journey of Overcoming Negative Thoughts

Embracing inner peace amidst negative thoughts and balancing kindness with wisdom is a journey of self-discovery and growth.
Connecting with our true Self, understanding the nature of the ego, and practicing conscious techniques, we can achieve a harmonious and fulfilling life.

❤️ Remember, true kindness starts with being kind to ourselves. ❤️
Let go of the ego’s need for control, trust in your inner wisdom, and live a life of balanced kindness and inner peace.

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Originally published at https://gabriellarujsz.com on August 1, 2024.

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Gabriella Rujsz

I'm a dedicated Spiritual Life Coach, and Meditation Guide. I am a certified Teacher of Presence (by Eckhart Tolle and Kim Eng) and a Yoga teacher.