How to View Your Mistakes

If its worth doing, its worth doing poorly first.

I recently experienced a collection of failures all at the same time. I had quit my job to pursue my own thing, but I didn’t even know what my own thing was. I just knew that I needed space to breathe and to figure out what is next. I decided to start paying more attention to all of the projects we have already started instead of starting new ones. The kind of projects we have that get ignored from two people working too much are an aquarium, aquaponic system, worm compost bin, garden, painting the walls of the house, ohh yeah and about 20 0ther projects that are house specific. When I started giving them attention, I realized that they were not doing so hot, especially all of the living organisms. I panicked. How could I, someone who loves to participate with other individuals and encourage personal growth, have allowed death to happen right under my nose. The last tilapia in the aquaponic system was dead in the water, there were no longer any fish who could handle the ignored state of water. Depressing. I went to feed the worms some veggie scraps only to realize they had not eaten what I had given them 3 weeks ago (I know 3 weeks in between meals, we suck at this) and nothing was eaten. In fact the normal noise you hear when you open the bin of squirming worms moving around in happy bliss was missing. I started digging through the bin to find some life, all dead, no squirming. Depressing. Then we had some family visit our home that we can only get to on the weekends, the report came back. The garden wasn’t looking so hot, not enough water, not too much growth. This felt like the end of the world. Depressing.

It was a wake up call, you cannot do everything and expect everything to prosper on your own. But more so I continued to contemplate how can we live the busy lives that we love but also create and experiment with the projects we love? I do not yet have the answer to this. If you do please share. I soon came to realize that this was not a failure, it was grace to start over from the busy life I was trying to get away from. Now I could start all of the projects over with the wisdom and experience I have gained from keeping these things up for the past couple of years. That was my first worms to ever die in 5 years, my first garden I have ever tried to keep from a distance, first aquaponic system with tilapia. This was a moment for growth not defeat.

I went through my compost and got it ready to put on my garden and celebrated doing things poorly to learn how to improve.

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