Weird Is The New Normal.
How embracing your weird will benefit the world.
‘If you’re always trying to be normal you’ll never know how amazing you can be.’ — Maya Angelou
At a very early age we’re taught how to “fit in”. From the playground and often earlier, we’re told “don’t do this”, “do that”, “don’t say this”, “do that”, “you can’t wear that in public”, “don’t put that in your mouth, it was on the ground”, etc. There is a barrage of shoulds and shouldn’ts, of what’s expected of us and what’s considered “normal”. And although there is some aspect of helpful truth and a concern for safety to all of this guidance, respecting others’ boundaries and a necessary learning curve of socialization, there is also an element of social conditioning that squashes our creativity, our uniqueness, and our weirdness.
So, how do we integrate into society without losing our weirdness, accepting that in order to “play the game” and participate there are some “rules” we must adhere to, unless we want to live in the wild on our own which I’m sure we’ve all considered at times? In order to maintain our authenticity and align to our own unique truth, not becoming just another robot in society falling in line, we must live in constant inquiry. We must remain curious, relentlessly questioning the rules. Not flagrantly disrespecting them, but getting curious about their inception and existence. Are they still relevant? Are they relevant to us in this situation? Are they still serving us individually and as a whole? What is the impact of this rule and how did it come about?
Our partner, Tony Robbins, tells a story at one of his seminars about a historic vineyard in Italy who hires a new vintner or wine maker. While onboarding this new contributor, the existing employees walk him through the process moving from harvesting, crushing and pressing, fermentation, clarification, aging and bottling. After the educational tour and when prompted if he had any questions, the new vintner asks “why do you put an apple in the wine vat for fermentation?”. The existing employees looked at each other and then at the new vintner dumbfounded. No one had ever inquired why they put an apple in the vat and for how long they had been doing it. Then from the back of the cavern, a wiser voice spoke up, it was the great-grandfather of the vineyard who had witnessed countless bottles of wine being produced on this property from the very beginning, and he said, “as a young boy, when I was secretly watching the wine-making process, I was eating an apple and accidentally dropped it in the fermentation tank. Since then, we’ve always put one in.” Needless to say, the apple was a mistake and not a well thought out or intentional ingredient to the success of this wine’s aroma. With new perspective and out-of-the-box thinking, they resolved that the apple was in fact not a “rule” and in turn, no longer necessary.
“What we are doing with inquiry is meeting our thoughts with some simple understanding, finally. Pain, anger, and frustration will let us know when it’s time to inquire. We either believe what we think or we question it: there’s no other choice. Questioning our thoughts is the kinder way. Inquiry always leaves us as more loving human beings.” — Byron Katie
Weirdness has been invaluable in the start-up space. We’ve seen weird come across our desks for years and relentlessly seek it out in fact. We look for those that are looking to have a massive positive impact on this world technologically and who are pushing the boundaries of what’s been accepted as “truth”, or perhaps overlooked, for far too long. In the spiritual realm, people often discuss this as dharma versus dogma. Meaning that dharma is about the real truth, whereas dogma is about various perceptions of the so-called truth (some correct, but more often wrong). People often get caught up in the “apple” or the dogma and lose sight of the dharma or ‘real truth’ simply because of complacency or social conditioning. However, to build the future we need to challenge the dogmas that shape our view of the past. That doesn’t mean the opposite of what is believed is necessarily true, it means that you need to rethink what is and is not true and determine how that shapes how we see the world today. As Peter Thiel says, “The most contrarian thing of all is not to oppose the crowd but to think for yourself”.
In Thiel’s book ‘Zero to One’ he hones in on this concept, recognizing that most things are simply copying or iterating on something that’s already been done (1 to n). Whereas the progress doesn’t happen on its own, someone has to make it happen. This is where the “0 to 1” phrase comes in, recognizing that it takes genius and courage to invent transformative new technology that creates abundance and prosperity, 0 to 1. Like Heraclitus, who said that ‘you can only step into the same river once’, Thiel believes that each moment in business happens only once. Again stressing the importance of wholeheartedly embracing one’s weirdness, whether in invention or in life, otherwise the world may miss out on a massive opportunity. He also stresses that there is no formula for innovation, because every innovation is new and unique, no authority can prescribe in concrete terms how to be more innovative. Successful people find value in unexpected places, and they do this by thinking about business from first principles instead of formulas.
On the subject of inquiry, Thiel also offers his favorite contrarian interview question. “What important truth do very few people agree with you on?”. This can be hard to answer at first, so one can always start with, “what does everybody agree on?” If you can identify a delusional popular belief, you can find what lies hidden behind it: the contrarian truth. These both come back to questioning, which successful entrepreneurs do tirelessly. They question themselves, their impacts, their beliefs, their roadmaps, their fundraising strategies; they constantly question, iterate, improve, adapt, redirect and are therefore always ahead of the game never getting complacent. Thiel agrees, highlighting that a new company’s most important strength is new thinking: even more important than nimbleness, small size affords space to think. Never stop inviting new thinking and ideas in, regardless of size.
“Madness is rare in individuals — but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule.” — Nietzche
We need more weird, wild and unleashed. We need more people to question what’s normal or natural, and to rethink the way things have been done for years or even centuries. The more we live in inquiry, the more compassionate, understanding and loving we ultimately become. “Unconditional love is not the same as unconditional tolerance”. So, don’t tolerate what you’ve been told is normal or natural, inquire if that’s true for you and if it’s benefiting the larger network of souls all around you. But you must also accept that this constant questioning and growth-mindset will feel confrontational to some people’s systems, especially those wired towards certainty or significance (revisit Tony Robbins’ 6 human needs here or here). Your weird or wild, constantly questioning of the world around you, will trigger anxiety in some folks and that’s okay. That is for them to manage, not for you to take responsibility for. Remember, “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” So, shine on soul sister or sir, the world is counting on your brightness to disrupt and lead in whatever ways you are most lit up and passionate about. Do not let others’ discomfort hold you back, they’ll catch-up, catch-on or move-on. Let them and let go, focus on your inner truth not others’ approvals.
Author and activist Glennon Doyle says, “Freedom is not being for or against an ideal, but creating your own existence from scratch. You are not here to waste your time deciding whether my life is true and beautiful enough for you. You are here to decide if your life, relationships, and world are true and beautiful enough for you.” She also goes on to say, “There is no such thing as one-way liberation. When we free ourselves, we automatically free everyone around us. When we grant ourselves permission to live as our truest selves. We automatically grant permission to everyone around us to do the same. Because freedom is contagious. So the most loving, motherly, nurturing, life-saving thing a [person] can do is be [themselves], trust [themselves], and go for what [they] want unapologetically.”
So, embrace your weirdness. Seek it out in yourself and others. Welcome it, inquire into it constantly, and never hold back or simply accept what’s normal or natural. Your weird could save and dramatically transform this world for the better, it already has in countless ways I’m sure. Stay weird and wild, because the world is counting on your unique contributions and questioning.
Prime Movers Lab invests in breakthrough scientific startups founded by Prime Movers, the inventors who transform billions of lives. We invest in companies reinventing energy, transportation, infrastructure, manufacturing, human augmentation, and agriculture.
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