(Un)lost

What do you do when you don’t know where your place is? You feel damn lost. It’s like everything in this world is made for something but you. It goes in pairs, packs — fits in snugly, and is in its rightful place. You ride the wave in high spirits and go with the flow like dead fish during somber times. You start to wonder where you belong or what jigsaw puzzle becomes complete when you try to fill the empty space.

So you build up these walls and hide behind them to try to make sense of what little nuance or depth does it make a difference from. There are the occasional chips and crevices, a peep here and there just to check if you’re still breathing. But what they don’t know is that you built those walls for the sole purpose of knowing if anyone is vehemently bold enough to wreck them down. You find yourself dafter than ever as you realize that no one’s coming to break those mighty walls you surround yourself with.

You wake up one day and realize that it’s time to get off your high horse, stop your inner whining, and just go on. It is in your best interest after all to dismiss any pent up emotions. Because at the end of the day, whatever shitstorm you’re in, you have to suck it up as you have nothing but yourself to rely on.

What you should really know though is that it’s not about where you should be at this precise moment. It isn’t even about finding your niche in the thorny thicket of a forest to set camp on. You just have to pick up the breadcrumbs you’ve scattered along the way, and know that it was you who laid them out for you to eventually find in the first place. As the song goes, “I’m not looking to be found, I just want to feel unlost.”

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