On how I chose…

This is my very first post ever. I've been wanting to write some place for a long time now but, ever since my boyfriend told me about Medium I thought “THIS IS THE ONE!” why did I choose this? I don’t know — I just felt like it.

The thing about this post is that; that phrase “I just felt like it” has, somehow, been my way of choosing for a time now… Somehow, I managed to stop thinking about what other people might think when I make a decision and start making them because I “Felt like It”. This weird way of choosing has made me (not going to lie), very happy. I have done everything I have ever wanted, everything my guts has told me to, and I have managed to MAKE IT! without having to worry about anyone else.

If I give you this approach, and I tell you that I am living the life that I want; you may say: WOW she is actually doing it, she is happy and she has found the way to do what most people want: “Do exactly what you want without any regrets or any worries about what others think”.

This might be true at some point but, until now, I hadn't have to think about the consequences that one -not so little decision- may have…

I live in Venezuela. If you have ever heard about this magical country, you surely know we became one of the worst places to live in due to a terrible government. But, I am not going to talk about this right now; the heart of the matter is that my boyfriend and I thought about leaving the country and starting a new life together some place else, everything looked good, we had everything planed but… I JUST DIDN'T FELT LIKE IT…. That stupid thing about “trust your inner voice”, for the first time has made me regret my decision. Soon he will be leaving without me… I don´t know if what I felt was just fear about leaving my comfort zone or I Just “cold feeted” because of the compromise it takes to leave everything behind and starting a new life. Leaving my work, my growing opportunities, my family… everything…

When I decided not to go, I thought a lot about myself and how, despite the country situation, I am actually doing things that I like and learning what no book can teach me… to grow in a chaotic society.

But I never thought about what I was about to loose… The opportunity to start something with the Love of my life.