“I share therefore I am”- Dr Sherry Turkle
I have recently watched a Ted Talk by the brilliant Sherry Turkle called Connected, but alone? In this talk Turkle studies how our devices and online personas are redefining human connection and communication. She explains that as human beings we expect less from each other because we expect so much more from technology.
A Ted Talk that was produced in 2012 seemed to have left quite an effect on me as an individual growing up in a digital world. I see so clearly what Sherry is saying about the loss of true connection and communication. Social networking, texting, and other forms of electronic contact are making us less thoughtful, less connected, and less authentic. To understand who we truly are takes time. To share our authentic selves takes more than transmitted electronic words or images. We are replacing opportunities for face to face communication with tweets and texts. We forego the chance to really communicate and connect for limited communication and pseudo-connection.
Have we become afraid of intimacy? Do we not have any time to learn from each other? These are some questions that Dr Turkle explores in her Talk.
She refers to three gratifying fantasies that we achieve from our smartphones
- that we can put our attention wherever we want it to be
- that we will always be heard
- that we will never have to be alone
She epmhaises the importance of the third fantasy. Being alone makes us feel anxious, depressed and even panicky. If we don’t have connection we don’t feel like ourselves. Picking up our phones, sharing, posting, messaging and e-mailing makes us feel connected and it has shaped a new way of being. She further describes it as: “I share therefore, I am”.
A point she mentioned which I spoke about vaguely in my previous blog post is that we would rather digitally connect with each other because it’s easier and safer. How is it safer? Communicating online allows us to edit, delete and retouch. Physical human interaction is different. We cannot control what we say and we cannot control the way we look and feel when communicating. Human interaction is more intimate and today we have become more and more afraid of it. It has become easier to message a friend rather than going through the hassle to meet up. When the odd day arrives and we do meet up, we are alone together, slowly scrolling through our phones whilst trying to keep up some sort of ‘intimate conversation’.
I have become more aware of this, especially when in restaurants, where couples go out for a ‘romantic date’ but in reality they’re having a date with their Facebook, twitter or Instagram friends.
A video by Shimi Cohen called The-Innovation-of-Loneliness reflects exactly what Dr. Turkle explores in her Ted Talk. The title of this blog reads: “I share therefore I am” something both Dr Turkle and Cohen mention which really struck me and opened my eyes. We use technology to define ourselves, by sharing our feelings and thoughts, even as we’re having them. We have even reached the extent of faking our experiences so we will have something to share on social media. We have fallen into the trap that always being connected is going to make us feel less alone. But that is not true.
“If we are not able to be alone, then we are only going to know how to be lonely.”
As we continue to reach out for more connections on social media our face-to-face connections in human interactions diminish. Therefore soon, will we all be alone?
Thank you for reading and feel free to share your opinions about this matter.
Gaby
