R.I.P. Blubber To Runner
This is a hard story to tell… I’m not even sure where to begin, so bear with me.
Years ago, I started a blog — Blubber To Runner. It (and I) was dedicated to changing my life and my lifestyle. I was 350 pounds, wrapping up a failed marriage, partying WAY too much and, for the most part, had zero direction. But, that morning I picked myself up off the tile floor inside my front door after being passed out from the night before (late for a big meeting at work mind you), I knew a change had to be made.
Just like I know one needs to be made now.
See, I started B2R to help keep myself motivated, but I quickly realized how much it could help others stay motivated as well. How my words, my feelings and my experiences were not unlike what others were experiencing as well. It helped me grow and learn so much about what I needed to do to lose weight and run a lot of races. But what it didn’t help me do is be a better person — a better man, son, brother and, eventually, husband. It was just smoke and mirrors.
I was lying to myself hiding behind all of the workouts and race pictures when, all along, I was still pretty fucking damaged.
That realization came over a year ago, and it shut me down. The motivation came to a screeching halt. The blogs stopped, the posts stopped, the FB page just kinda sits there… I wasn’t feeling very motivational — to either myself or anyone else.
About a month ago, things changed. There will be time another day to get into that (it’s pretty fucking heavy), but I made an active decision to work on the one thing I have NEVER chosen to work on:
Me. Being a better man.
I am passive, I’ve allowed people to use me to advance their careers, I’ve sat back and cheered others success while downplaying my own, I’ve not spoken up because I’m afraid what people might think or say… I’ve taken a back seat for far too long — and it’s time that changed.
My wife and I are trying to start a family (again, more on this in a future post) and I realized that the person I am right now is not the man I want to be for my wife or our future children. They deserve better, and that’s now where my focus will lie.
So, Blubber To Runner as it’s currently made up will be no more. It was a GREAT experience; I met many new people through the blog, I’ll NEVER give up the logo (my friend made it for me who passed suddenly only a few weeks after finishing it up), I shared in some wonderful memories — be it virtually or in person — and wouldn’t give any of those back for the World. But, truth be told, it’s run it’s course… and it’s time to take things down a different path.
This path may not be for everyone, and that’s OK — neither was B2R. But hopefully, as you’re reading this, you’ll continue to read and interact and grow with me. I still plan on sharing but doing so using different platforms than before (Medium, Snapchat, Periscope along with Facebook and Twitter) as well as really stripping down and talking about some honest shit that, quite frankly, many people are afraid to address.
At the end of the day, my hope is that my journey can influence others to do their own personal work and become the best they can be — and all the while knowing that you are NOT alone.
So, I’ll talk to you soon, guys… I look forward to sharing this with you all.
And Rest In Power, Blubber To Runner… you will NEVER be forgotten.