Based on how you wrote this, I wonder what you mean when you say empathy. Or maybe the word compassion would fit in here. If you find someone else’s hurt silly or small, maybe that person was testing the water for expressing a larger hurt, and discovered the water is too cold. If the same pattern of conflict comes up over and over, it’s a sign that the relationship holds some dysfunction. Gottman’s research on the 4 horses of the apocalypse — criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling — doom relationships, even when less serious terms are used to describe the dynamic. It’s astonishing to me that you can engage in a physical fight with a friend and walk away with know hard feelings. I don’t know any men, who I respect for their honesty and kindness, who would make such a claim.