When my ex and I bought our house, I was astonished by how stressful the set up of that mortgage contract was with the bank. When we got married, no such stress was involved. It was a simple declaration of “yep we want our financial lives to be legally merged” however not even that simple language was used. Instead it is cloaked in a flowery poetry of “what’s mine is yours for better and worse.” Divorce brings the stark reality of the legal ramifications of marriage into focus. We had a very uncomplicated divorce. Minimal cost legally. No attorneys. We filed our own paperwork. It emptied almost all of my retirement savings and in return I was able to keep a house. The financial experience of the divorce was painful, but nothing compared to coming to terms with what a horrible relationship I had been in. That was a pain I had to take responsibility for and work on for myself. I think people often use the financial suffering of divorce to try and project their emotional suffering onto their soon-to-be ex. It doesn’t work and only prolongs misery. I have nothing but gratitude for my ex, because he left. My life is so much better with out him. Less money. Much better.