Help?
On Giving and Receiving
Do the words actually mean the opposite of what I think they do?
Can the giver be the receiver? Can the receiver be the giver?
I’ve always resisted asking for help — from anyone. A lifetime of conditioning has taught me that I am personally responsible for standing on my own two feet. My ego admires this quality within. She’s strong — a giver, not a taker.
Is this wrong? Is there a different way? Is my thought process flawed?
What if I hold this belief up to the light? Will it refract, offering a different view?
Of course — I should. We all benefit from occasionally asking ourselves, why do I think that?
Here’s a story to help clear my point.
Last Thursday night, I received a late evening call. Both the time of day and caller listed on the screen declared— This is unusual.
I answered the call from my neighbor. She and her family were about six hours away from home, delivering one of their four children to a new life adventure on a college campus. They’d discovered a problem that needed solving. Could I help?
Yes, I can help! What is it?
We’ve forgotten some medication on a bathroom counter. Here is the garage door code. Could you retrieve it? We’ve made contact with a family from Chicago who’ll be passing through Milwaukee on their way to where we are. It will take you about an hours worth of drive time. Will you meet them and hand it off?
Yes, I can do that.
I did that — and felt good about it.
Upon reflection (refraction?), I received as much, if not more, than my neighbor did.
By asking, my neighbor gave me an opportunity to feel useful.
We all want to feel useful, right? It builds us up. It builds connection.
What I continue to learn is that asking for help — can actually be a gift to the giver.
My Lesson: Consider accepting the gifts others have to offer — ask for them. Your ask might be just the gift somebody needs.
We all know the best gifts in life are free — the gift of you and the gift of me.
