Life is a Little Harder Now

It’s gotten harder. Harder to sleep. Harder to smile. Harder to laugh. Harder to be happy. It’s harder to do everything when the one person who was suppose to be by your side forever, leaves.

I never thought this would happen to me. I have always read about this type of thing in books and saw it in movies, but never thought that it could be my reality one day. Well it is. It’s my reality. It’s my life.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I’m trying to deal with it all. I’m trying to make sense of the mess that is now my life.

Crying has become a daily thing for me. Every time I’m alone tears start to fall. If I stop thinking I start to cry. I hide it all with a smile. “Fake it till you make it” has become my new life motto.

We did so much for you and you have seemed to throw it all away. I try to figure out why and you don’t answer. It’s almost like I don’t exist, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make sense of this all.

I don’t know is my answer for everything right now, and that’s okay.

I spend more time alone than with people. I was doing so well and you knocked me back down. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to do anything. I have no motivation.