Moving On

That day still plays over and over in my head. It is almost like it is on replay. Each detail is vivid, it is almost like it happened yesterday or a couple hours ago. Crazy, huh? We can’t remember names or what we had for lunch yesterday, but we can remember the way something smelled. Or even worse, the last time we were truly and generally happy. It is sad to think about, but it is true.

It was December, the first snowfall had just happened, and we had a snow day for the first time, in what seemed like forever. You asked to come over and see me because you missed me. Of course I said yes because you were my boyfriend, I would be stupid if I rejected your offer. At least that is what I thought I should have done.

Everyone said that you were a nice guy. I think you fooled them because you were not nice to me. Hell with you I thought being nice was over rated. Little did I know that I needed that. I needed your smart mouth and your inability to control what you say.

Want to know why? Because without you pointing out every single one of my flaws I would not have been able to realize that all these “flaws” were actually things I should love about myself. It is funny how it takes something horrible for a person to realize that they are amazing in their own way.

You taught me to love myself the day you put your hands on me. You taught me that sometimes the best things come from the worst circumstances. You taught me so much in a short amount of time, but that is okay because we were not meant to last and now I know that. Do I miss you every once in awhile? Yes, but not enough to go back to my biggest mistake that I ever made. I was stupid enough to take you back once, I am not about to make the same mistake twice.

I will move on from you, one day I will.