it is here first

This will get a thousand of battering from you but the hell I care.

Don’t get me started with your proximity theory in relationships.

Don’t tell me how I feel about him because I know.

It is blurry. Foggy… slippery.

Stop telling me how I should feel and making me feel like this feeling is out of place because I know it is not, but this is wrong.

Or, is it?

This feeling is here long before you started feeling yours. At first, I just thought that maybe I am just another lonely soul, looking for something that will help me be happy… looking for something to shelter this pieced heart that’s why I did not do anything about it. I thought this will all go away like this is nothing, but it stayed. Staying. Will stay but I don’t know how long.

It makes me fall asleep at night and wakes me up in the middle.

And other universes are giving me so much comfort knowing that my feelings here might be sheltered there — at home.

I can’t hold your heart because even if I do a little touch to it, I might crumple it.

I can’t hold your hand and lean my head on your shoulders because I might jump right then and there and it will be too hard for me to get back up.

I can’t hold you because I will break you.

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