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At least he will be in the house with me at night and on weekends she thought. But after a while she realised they had nothing in common and were not a good match after all. Some of my clients that have been divorced twice, say the second marriage didn’t work out because they married their ex all over again. So today I wanted to offer some tips on handling loneliness.

Loneliness is a state of mind and it is often the result of us comparing ourselves and situation to others. When we compare our life with married friends and family or those living with children, we can create a feeling of loneliness and fear that we will always be alone. The same can happen when you compare yourself to your life years before, or compare yourself to other long-term single friends and say well they have been single for a long-time, so I will be too. When you compare you are only hurting yourself and can bring on the feeling of loneliness and fear.

Thankfully I realized this over a decade ago now. I couldn’t figure out why Christmas, Birthdays and Valentines, I felt so low and alone. Why when surrounded by loving friends and family at Christmas did I feel bad, it made no sense. It was because I was comparing myself to an ideal of what I thought I should have, judging myself.

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