The Virtue of Patience in Marriage: Going with the Family Speed

Gyang Galang
4 min readMay 19, 2023

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Genesis 33:12–14

12 Then Esau said, “Let us be on our way; I’ll accompany you.”

13 But Jacob said to him, “My lord knows that the children are tender and that I must care for the ewes and cows that are nursing their young. If they are driven hard just one day, all the animals will die. 14 So let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I move along slowly at the pace of the flocks and herds before me and the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.”

Introduction:

Marriage is a beautiful journey that unites two individuals, their dreams, and their aspirations. When we enter into this sacred union, we bring with us a vision of what we hope to achieve together. However, amidst the excitement and anticipation, it is important to recognize the significance of patience and understanding as we adapt to the pace of our partner and the evolving dynamics of family life. Drawing inspiration from the biblical account of Jacob and Esau in Genesis 33, let us explore the various areas of adjustment we may encounter and the invaluable virtue of patience in nurturing a harmonious and fulfilling family life.

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  1. Shared Goals and Visions:

In the blissful moments of courtship, we often envision a future filled with shared dreams and accomplishments. However, it is crucial to remember that these aspirations may unfold at different speeds for each partner. Embracing patience allows us to respect our partner’s journey and synchronize our goals to create a common vision. Together, we can chart a path that acknowledges individual aspirations while fostering an environment of support and encouragement.

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2. The Pace of Personal Growth:

Within a marriage, personal growth is a continuous process. As individuals, we embark on unique journeys of self-discovery and development. It is essential to recognize that personal growth may occur at varying rates for each partner. Patience becomes the cornerstone for understanding and allowing room for personal transformations to take place. By respecting the pace of our partner’s growth, we cultivate an atmosphere of acceptance and provide the support needed to navigate life’s challenges.

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3. Emotional Adjustment:

Entering into marriage means embracing not only our partner but also their emotional landscape. Each person brings a unique set of emotions, experiences, and coping mechanisms to the relationship. Nurturing a patient and empathetic environment helps in understanding and adapting to the emotional needs of our loved ones. By cultivating open communication and active listening, we foster a space where emotional adjustments can occur organically, leading to deeper emotional connections.

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4. The Arrival of Children:

Welcoming children into our lives is a joyous milestone, but it also introduces a whole new dimension to the pace of family life. Parenthood requires immense patience as we adjust to the demands of raising children and balancing our own needs. From sleepless nights to the never-ending list of responsibilities, patience becomes a guiding force that helps us navigate the challenges of parenthood together. Supporting each other through the trials and triumphs of child-rearing strengthens the foundation of our marriage.

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5. Flexibility and Compromise:

As we merge our lives, it is inevitable that compromises will be necessary. Patience enables us to embrace flexibility, making space for adjustments in various areas such as career choices, financial decisions, and household responsibilities. By acknowledging the importance of compromise, we build a partnership that thrives on understanding, harmony, and the willingness to adapt to the ever-changing circumstances of life.

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Conclusion:

Marriage is a journey that demands flexibility, understanding, and most importantly, patience. By following Jacob’s example in the book of Genesis 33, we learn the value of moving at the pace of our partner and family. Patience becomes the bridge that connects our individual goals and visions, fostering a harmonious and fulfilling family life. As we embark on this lifelong commitment, let us embrace the beauty of patience, knowing that by doing so, we lay the foundation for a love that endures and thrives amidst life’s challenges.

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Gyang Galang

I write about Life, Wisdom, Leadership, Purpose Family and Relationships.