The Enormously Heavy Burden Of Being Father.
This post is not meant for you to feel sorry for me, but more of a piece that will help you understand how hard it is to be a Father these days.
I married late in life only because I lived a great single life. I traveled, partied and did the things I wanted to do. So when it was for me to start accepting the responsibility of becoming a Parent I jumped right in without hesitation.
I met my wife at work. She worked in one dept I worked in another. We hit it off right away and quickly got married after a year of dating.
I thought being married was easy since my parents have been married for about 46 years! They made it look easy but from what I soon found out is that being married is not easy at all.
There will be great times and there will also be just about as much as bad times. It feels like you are in a rollercoaster of some sorts. The high and the lows do take their toll as more grays fill my head.
Society likes to say that Fathers are useless but in reality that’s just a fallacy at least for me. Everyday it seems I have to solve a problem. Whether it’s my Step Daughters unwillingness to think the world revolves her or my youngest Daughter with her 8 year old issues or my wife complaining about something. Even at times supporting my mother in law and sister in law is enough to make any man run for the hills!
Yet I’m still here battling the storm and the waves in my small Sailboat! Being a ex NAVY Sailor I tend to view my life as if it’s an ocean.
Still I hold on because I love them very much. Its just that I feel that at times they seem to be taking advantage of me. Especially for my step daughter who thinks the world revolves around her. At 22 years old she is so bitter and angry.
Don’t know why. I gave her everything she needed even bought a car for her and yet she is so ungrateful as well as going no where. Maybe its just me overreacting because at 22 I had already traveled the world and did 4 years in the service. She just stays in her room that I pay for and hides in their like Bin Laden.
She worries me the most as I feel she is just wasting her time. I guess she thinks we still need to do for her. Maybe she thinks she is entitled to the life she wants to live to be handed to her.
Right now I hate to say it but I just do not care anymore. I have argued and spent money on her so that at least she can get a good job.
But all I get is grief and stress.
These are the types of stresses that happen to me everyday. I can’t just sit down read a book or maybe watch some TV to relax.
Crap I have not slept normally in years. Worrying about stuff as usual. Maybe I should not spend so much time I thinking about stuff I have no control over but I can’t help it.
Being a Father is no cake walk at all. I have learned more about life now then I did before. I even understood what my Parents would tells us when we were smaller.
People think being a Father is to stick your dick in and inseminate. A Father is more than that. A real one will help in raising his child or children. Doing for them and making sure they have the tools to proceed on their own in life when the time comes.
Sometimes they listen and learn other times they think they know more than you do until they get tired of hitting the wall constantly. It might take a while but it will happen.
Its funny how as we get older we see the real bullshit behind things. As a Father I can tell that there i enough bull shit to go around.
It might sound cliched but bein. Father has been the hardest job I have ever done. I’m doing my best in keeping things together as much as I can.
Sometimes I just fee like just letting it all fall. Release the burden I’m carrying then I see my 8 year olds smile. When I see her do that it makes it worth the work and help me to continue on.
So to all the Fathers putting it down everyday kudos to you! Keep doing it! We need more Men out there like yourselves.