Galyn Burke
Aug 31, 2018 · 2 min read

I really appreciate this piece, E Price. I work with a lot of young people as well as adults who have internalized the false assumption that they avoid tasks because they are “lazy,” or that a better person could accomplish what they are avoiding by not doing homework, not doing chores, or <insert issue here>. Not only does that reaction to the problem make it much harder for the identified client to change the behavior, it doesn’t have a biological basis. Avoidance is a logical, biological response to anxiety, self criticism, and/or fear of failure, not a result of inherent laziness.

In addition, many of myclients are also depressed, making concentration and follow-thru incredibly difficult or impossible. Just like you have to stabilize a trauma patient before healing their wounds, you have to stabilize an ailing mind before you can expect it to heal.

Finally, I want to reinforce the point you make about how people are “doing the best they can.” If you have been oppressed or marginalized in your formative life, you learn that you have no control over what happens to you. “Learned helplessness” is well documented and has biological validation. As social primates, we are primed to come to understand and take our place in our community. If nothing you did as a young primate allowed you to change/better your position, why would you assume that anything has changed when you’re an adult primate? Learned helplessness can be unlearned, but you have to help the person completely rewire their perspective on themselves and the world around them, something that is challenging for any human being to accomplish at any age.

Great piece. So glad you wrote it.

    Galyn Burke

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    I'm an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist. I'm learning a lot from the literature, but more from people. When I find something important, I share it here.