It’s Not Him. It’s Us.
In almost every conversation I have these days, especially with white friends and family, I hear some version of the same question. Sometimes it’s earnest curiosity. More often it’s rhetorical.
The question is Why? Why do they still support him? Why don’t they see how stupid/venal/clownish/evil he is? Why doesn’t anything he says or does, no matter how incompetent or clownish, seem to affect his popularity. Why don’t the brilliant memes we post on social media, exposing his hypocrisy and stupidity, wake people up?
These questions didn’t begin with the pandemic, of course, or the impeachment, or the Russia probe, or Hurricane Maria, or the Muslim ban, or his “locker room talk.” Although each new outrage brings a fresh wave of angst, bewilderment, we began asking these questions early in his campaign, as soon as he began rising in the polls.
My goal in writing this is to get my people (white progressives) to reflect on our political self-righteousness. It is not a question of compromising our values, but of softening our moral certainty enough to actually hear the other side. This can be deeply uncomfortable, but I’m afraid it’s no longer optional. Whether it’s this crisis or the next one, the survival of our species increasingly depends on us finding ways to come together. In that spirit, I invite you to join me in a thought experiment.
Imagine it’s 2010 and you’re having a conversation with like-minded friends about President Barack Obama. Perhaps you’re discussing your shared frustration that he chose Wall Street insiders to lead us out of the global financial crisis they themselves created. Or maybe you’re expressing outrage over his continuation and expansion of Bush-era national security policies, such as drone warfare and domestic surveillance. Or, you might be exasperated that he compromised the sole progressive feature of his otherwise conservative health care plan (it was, after all, based on ideas from the Heritage Foundation). Or perhaps you are wishing he would stand up to the fossil fuel industry and take meaningful action on climate. There is a long list of the ways you, like me, may have been discouraged that Hope and Change was starting to look like a return to Clinton era, Third-Way neoliberalism.
Feel into the fullness of your disappointment over Obama’s failure to stand for and bring about the change we thought we could believe in. Take your time.
Now, imagine accidentally catching a Fox News segment where Glenn Beck is talking about Obama’s Death Panels or his FEMA Concentration Camps. Or picture yourself scrolling through your social media feed and coming across yet another post by your Republican cousin, propagating right-wing bullshit about how Obama was born in Kenya or is coming for your guns.
Infuriating right? As you think about lying, racist jerks like Beck and Limbaugh and their hateful lies, try to notice whether your feelings of anger and disappointment with Obama’s centrism have the same intensity as before. I don’t know about you, but, for me, as my energy gets redirected toward defending him, the intensity of my criticism wanes, at least for that moment.
I am pretty much certain that the same thing happens for folks on the Right when we go after 45 or his supporters. By the way, I know we think our claims are factual. But it’s almost always easier to believe what our team says and easier to be skeptical about things we don’t want to hear. But if you think our side doesn’t spread untruths, see here and here for a couple of recent examples.
Regardless of the content, much of what white progressives post on social media about 45 is designed to remind ourselves that his supporters are racist idiots, and that we, by comparison, are smarter and more virtuous.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I don’t believe most 45 supporters are immoral idiots. Believe it or not, I one time had a thoughtful conversation with a 45 supporter. You can watch it here. And I’m willing to bet that he is closer to the norm than the exception. In fact, I suspect that, when there are no liberals around, many of these folks are happy to criticize 45’s buffoonish demeanor and terrible decisions. When it comes to the truly toxic stuff, like his many sexual assault allegations, I imagine they just compartmentalize. After all that’s what many of us did when Bill Clinton was under attack.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not trying to make excuses for 45 or his supporters. There are no excuses for their politics. But this fact is of little use for trying to change the situation. In the context of our polarized political climate, having the right facts doesn’t matter. This arena is all about feelings. Moreover, in terms of emotions and psychology, the two sides are playing from the same deck. Whatever mixed feelings we may have about our person, if they’re attacked, we will close ranks and defend them. It’s a universal principle of group psychology.
Our political divide would be bad enough in ordinary times, but these times are not ordinary. Faced with the current level of despair and uncertainty, it’s natural to want to place blame. Yet it is sad to see this collective human tragedy turned into yet another field of battle in the culture war. It’s not surprising, though. It is just too painful to contemplate the possibility that this pandemic would have been terrible even under the best possible leadership.
What if the real reason they still support him is that identifying with him helps shore up their self-esteem against our relentless contempt? Maybe, the more we mock him, the more they feel we’re mocking them. In other words, what if we are the bullies on this playground? Perhaps the real question we need to ask ourselves is whether having the correct political opinion is what’s needed right now. What if our collective survival depends less on being right than on our willingness to take care of each other?
