As I was not present at the meeting with Martin and I’m going to tell about events I was part of.
So, the previous week was like hell. My grandma died of oldness or old age I don’t really know the right word for it. But that was just one piece of a chain of terrible things that happened to me.
I broke up with my girl. I was devastated, I couldn’t do anything, I didn’t want to. It is like some part of me is gone now. Though I was the one that ruined our relationship, I didn’t cherish her the way I had to, I didn’t pay attention to her the way I had to, I didn’t love her the way I had to. I was really a bad person to her. But I realised it and was ready to change everything, I was really sorry for everthing I did and no matter how much I told her that I was sorry, how many gifts I bought, she didn’t give a damn. At first, she said that she was not ready to have a conversation but I came to her anyway (I’m an idiot), she cried a little bit and said to me that I should go home. That is what I did. The next day I came to her again without notifying her. I told how sorry was again and wanted to start everything over. She told me that she cheated on me, she kissed another guy. I was wasted. My heart was literally on fire. But I was ready to forgive her if she forgave me for everything I did to her. She said that I should go home. A day later I saw a picture of her with some guy. I came to house, to her mother, we had a nice conversation and she didn’t even know that we broke up. I told her the situation. And she was for us to start over, everyone was except her. I waited for her to come home (for my ex), we had a nice conversation, we remembered all good things that we had, she cried a lot. I asked her for the last time to start over and she said that she was not sure in herself anymore that she loved me. I get it, she found someone new, she doesn’t love me anymore but there is a question: did she ever? I know that I was not perfect but I’m sure as hell that this new person is going to break her heart. It’s hurtful, I wanted everything to be better, I had really big plans for us and now I’m half gone. If you read this, thank you. Not going to lie, I still feel like sh*t, even though one week has past