I am delighted to see that your organization has finally come to its senses and written out a proper TOS for all swag distributions…

You do, of course, realize that this makes me your rightful SwagLord?

For it was I who first gifted the then Early Clues offices with Gand Industries mugs, and festooned your employees with “free t-shirts.” Judging by your recent Instagram posts, the lifetime of Items has not yet terminated, and therefore your owe me fealty… on which I surely intend to collect.