I did not got sleep today night as I got that I am living guilty for more than ten years life. Because of me… many things not happened in my life and now no way for it and may be many things in your life may got delayed …because of my acts.
First time I got that I am many light years away from you in every sense and my eyes will not be able to see the intelligence, creativity, programmer, coding girl and many other things that I can never think about, I was few months lucky that got your shadow for few months but failed to get and understand you.
I was keep doing everything knowingly must be because of that many things in your life got delayed as per my life things not happened.
I was thinking I am very near to god ,yes but now I came to know that god was you, who was trying to help me out (vjmediaworks,ecocert,sharepoint and many more) but I could not understand saying I love you.
I said many bad things about your parents, family and life without knowing all those, and at the same time ignored these relationships in my life from my side. Even though I will say I takes all my words back…practically this is not possible and logically not understandable and things will be in your mind forever as they hearted you and your all one.
Today after knowing you, your intelligence , programming, engineering, coding, thinking, presentation, expressions..and many…. I fumbles if I try to grab, try to see, these and all your words, sentences and pictures on medium (I don’t have your any picture even though I wanting as I was having your love as well as fear)
“Sorry” I used many times so this word now if comes from me to you… will have no meaning.
I failed to accept, yes I ACCEPT , in my love there was no love and acceptance.
I am not having any illness and so from last one week stopped medicines… may be other GOOD person needs it and I am taking it.
I wrote that I got Bipolar illness because of you…..
ashwini please and don’t worry I don’t have such any illness. If I am trying to type your name “ashwini” I am getting sensation and fear.
If I consider year from 2008 to 2017, I got many things from you, I stolen from you, one thing is my English. Sometime ago I was not able to form any sentence and now…..? But I don’t know how and why now I can not speak Marathi also well…. . English I can speak in mind really in mind and can just type. I don’t know why my memory and my speaking ability is trying to leave me. But now I don’t need to speak or memorize as I will not speak and I myself forgetting all, except your intelligence , programming, engineering, coding, thinking, presentation, expressions..and many…
I like and love babies ..god kept my own baby no more now..
But I will wait for your own baby…. At the same time I will not interfair your life now
If your baby sees me I assure you … ur baby will smile even though I will no more or invisible.
Harsha, Ashwini……. U both deserves best life and living++++++++++++++
I wish u will not help me anymore as this will makes me parallelized
By…..(please adjust and understand my English, grammer like my feelings,)
please delete this after reading … this is between u and me only