It was enough…
Till it wasn’t.
“Why did I let it happen for so long?”
“How did I let my guard down?”
The questions come with the thoughts ever so often.
Your young heart deceived you.
In your naivety, you thought it would last forever.
You let the words seep right through to your heart. Words backed by zero actions.
It was deep; so you thought.
Profound love, you called it.
You fell so deep, you could hardly see the light.
From gliding joyously into the hole — enjoying the fleeting romance,
To wearily climbing out, gasping for air; the hardest thing you ever had to do.
Every step out of the hole was a small battle, in every step you tried to find yourself again.
Some days you took five steps out, other days you took two steps back. “Let me give this another chance.”
You couldn’t wallow in that hole, there was no light, no source of joy; it was empty.
Well not totally empty…
It was filled with dried bones of good friendship, trust, communication and commitment.
“I love you” echoed in the darkness, it used to be enough to make you stay till it began to sound like a buzz of a blood sucking bug — it just wasn’t enough.
Yes, somedays you considered giving it another shot, you couldn’t imagine starting all over again but that meant harming yourself, cutting yourself deeper. Really, was that even a choice?
Finally, you made it out of the hole with mixed feelings of regret, fear and relief, feelings that lingered for a while.
Stones were thrown at you for escaping the hole.
“How evil of you to leave after everything” they said.
You got used to the stones.
Then one day, the stoning didn’t hurt anymore because you developed thick skin.
You found yourself, you learned to love yourself better.
Nothing else really mattered ‘cause you did that; you put yourself first.
Your “goodbye” was LOUD, it was heard at last.