No Pencil Is Identical
On Energy.
What is it? Definition first…energy is…a pre-existing intangible force that exists within matter. It is like those thoughts and feelings that were always there or exist but you are not able to quantify or properly rationalize. Genetics is a good place to start. Everyone breathing today originated from one sperm and one egg (simply). Our consciousness and composition were determined by a microscopic pick-up line. But seriously, that’s how we start. An incredible amount of energy and information existed in that test tube…ok…but all our energy today came from somewhere.
If you were to argue that we (humans) were not completely physically and cognitively pre- determined by the time of conception, then where does that other developmental material come from? Your parents right? They speak and handle you throughout childhood, passing on lessons or, more appropriately, sharing experiences. Some actions have a lasting effect, physically, mentally, emotionally…it exists on multiple levels of your consciousness, i.e. physical pain vs. mental experience trauma vs. emotional defensive mechanisms from given experience. Expanding on energy, one painful action can ripple throughout ones consciousness and may reverberate more forcefully than its origin. Humans are very expressive and social animals, so body language is most appropriate when determining belief and authentication and thus, we act accordingly.
Attraction
-water, finding the low point…uniformity balance, wholeness, solace, beauty.
Attraction of energy. What we search for, the things, places, people we want to meet. That drive, where does it come from? That feeling of, “I have to have that!” What if attraction was just the definition we have given to a more visceral representation of our composition, our energy. That reaching out to incorporate something in your life, because you feel it will help or please or take you somewhere new and enjoyable and enlightening…it is your matter being pulled together by like matter. Even if we are composed of the same materials, the origins may be vastly different and may have risen under much different circumstances…that would explain the plethora of language and thought around the world. Simply, we as a species have common ground, because everyone that was alive 200 years ago is dead. We who exist today represent a breed that was fit and strong enough to procreate. *Reel it in* Point being, the same desire and push and successful ancestry is our link. A similar energy, formed and shaped through conflict and struggle.
Why do some stick out so much? Why are danger and unstableness and dysfunction and chaos as equally attractive as absolute silence? I’m an emotional extremist. The type of energy I give off much be strange, I’m only just becoming comfortable with myself…but some of us give off almost identical energy. Some are able to see and feel it, others not so much. All of a similar origin…as if we find ourselves. Attraction is just energy finding a segment of itself…a cosmic remnant of a violent impact that was sent shooting across the world to become molten lava for a few million years, only to be pushed up into soil, into a plant, into grain, and be consumed by a human…meanwhile, another piece of shrapnel that rocketed off to the other corner of the world, also found its way to become molten lava as the world settled itself from its scarring birth. But this energy came through the bottom of the ocean. Feeding microscopic, bioluminescent aquatic creatures, being consumed up the food chain as it began to retrace fathoms. Two energies from a single origin, separated for millions of years, inexplicably consumed by the same species, and
eventually meet again. That is attraction. Finding wholeness. Finding oneself. The people we find less attractive physically, emotionally, psychologically, socially, and whatever else is just the universe saying that they do not have the energetic density that your core seeks. Because we are all attracted to the opposite sex or the same sex. We all have a primal urge to procreate… that’s how we all exist today, we have that successful strain of DNA. But concentrations of energy of the closest composition is what sets people apart from others. The whole, “My Type” explanation, everyone’s perfect girl is different, other than the people we idolize as beauty stars. Interesting…but humans are also drawn to symmetrical objects, for whatever reason they are easier to conceptualize…fluidity and unpredictability are two things Western thought are not OK with.
We vote on the most attractive people. So how does energy account for this? The magazine and internet surveys and votes serve as a proof of theory. Meaning, we often refer to the most beautiful people and animals as either being complete mixes of numerous ethnicities, or pure breeds…translation…we love mash ups and mixes of as many types of energies as possible, and we love very high concentrations of energy from one instance (trace amounts, but think of the total amount of matter that exists on the earth today, and the material that ricocheted off the planet on impact only to be shot off into space, or maybe exists on another planet because that’s where it crashed…sick…but that’s what we look for). High concentration of mixes or single sources.
As you grow older, you become more comfortable with yourself. The whole, “No one ever changes,” argument. That being said, I like to think it’s more like we become more familiar with the energy we possess. That’s why we eventually end up steering ourselves only in directions that place us or bring us the type of means we are pursuing. Moving, employment, everything. We gravitate and shift towards likeness, no matter what. Like energy attracts itself, and like water we become whole and low, and undisturbed the larger we grow. We are on paper, water droplets on paper. All of us at the corners, edges, midways, half-ways, already there…and slowly the higher consciousness lifting the paper, unevenly, possibly with bias, but with incomprehensible purpose and intent, bringing us all together. We find a way to bring our energy together to exist as one, exchanging energies that we may have picked up on the way that we wish you share and tell stories about…Although we will never fully experience the wholeness we all seek, we meet others traveling adjacent to us on more or less broken and misleading paths as our own. Those exchanges are the greatest, because you realize you won’t be able to become whole. You realize that this consciousness and vessel we are given has an expiration date. Expiration dates mean that you have a limit. Limits mean you won’t have it all. Not having it all means you have to find the best combination. The best combination is the type of energy closest to yours. As we all travel closer to the middle of the paper, and as the higher consciousness determines our speed, we find like energy to travel with because we know we are here to just carry a torch. Pass on what we have, and passing on a high concentration of like energy means a strengthened sense of awareness and identity to those who come next.
Energy retaining to “One-Ways”
Every movement and instance of transfer exists in only one direction…meaning as we travel on each respective journey, there is a departure and an arrival, but you never start from nothing, and you never reach completion. A one-way movement is just a segment along your fluid plane of existence. Conclusions are never iced and solidified, they hold a facade until like or more conflicting energy supersedes it. So when you buy a one-way ticket and head overseas in
search of nothing and everything, it isn’t a departure and an arrival, it’s a bounce, a ladder rung, another shallower or deeper bog in the endless nose-high marsh (eyes above so we keep fighting, but breathing is our struggle). That’s the way it should be understood because that is how life intended itself to be discovered…one-way at a time…Every interaction may have been pre-determined, because everything finds its place, its origin…we’re already there…our energy existed before this consciousness was created. One-way tickets overseas is just a larger leap, a further reach. We make one-way decisions everyday, ones that work and ones that don’t. When you travel, physically and mentally, there is only one way to go, and we never know what the other side will look like, but we give ourselves the best, or selected, information and we make a judgement…will I find more like energy, attractions? The answer is always yes…we just pick up and absorb transferable pieces of our former cosmic selves on the way. It’s impossible for you to not find more of yourself, you just have to focus on intangibles and transfers (this worked, this didn’t).
Energy itself never flows in one direction, by law, by theory, it cannot. Like rippling water, intent and purpose rocket out in all directions, not evenly, but appropriate enough through all forms to be constant and consistent with its origin…you get what you put in, just a different manifestation of the energy you provided. You send your literal vibrations into another animate or inanimate object for it to feel and share your energy. Does it ever return? Possibly, but again, it will not be in the form it was once given, it never will…just like people…we will never be the same. The energy will give off, and share, voluntary or involuntary, will take form in incomprehensible ways, ways we as a species may never come in contact with. Or your energy makes its way back around to you, but it looks different, it tastes different, it lives and exchanges differently than when it once did. I liken it to a graphite pencil…we all start off blunt, un-groomed, undisturbed, but infinitely capable of becoming sharp and focused. As we grow older, time represents itself as a single blade, sharpening our consciousness and energy along the way. Everyday it shaves a little more off, but not always in pleasant ways (break-ups, perceived deaths, bad deals)…we get notched and mis-handled, all things that do not disappear completely, but forever shape portions of our consciousness to perceive, accept or reject certain types of energy as it goes forth…simply, we are more open and receiving to certain situations and callused towards others, but however small it may be, we have energy transferred to us against our will, because our will is blind and only represents our compulsive ego.
Free Will
Funny subject, it’s more of an illusion than an actual representation of our growth process…all we can do is put ourselves in positions to succeed, or fail, depends what our intentions and definitions are. We have the free will to put ourselves out there, but everything that happens after that is entirely random…the amount of control we have over our lives is comfortably very little…isn’t that fun? We become sharper pencils along the way, pointing us in more appropriate directions, but we have no control over how the razor shapes us…you become sharpest at the end…what is left is always what is strongest and most consistent. Your core energy becomes slowly more and more exposed, but it is the shiniest. Birth is like a slingshot, and it fires the pencil through time on an extremely turbulent flight path coming into contact with the energy that helps us shed our non-helpful weight (non-like energy), because we all have the same origin, we are just looking for the most like our own, and when we return to the origin the energy has served its purpose. So we are fired into this world, on a pre-determined flight path, and our “free will” is just the rudder at the end of the pencil, entirely overwhelmed, but gently steering us in
directions where we think we will become sharpest…Never going in reverse, our trajectory has and always will be going forward, like a one-way ticket.
Not all pencils are created equal. Some of us are top heavy, some of us tail heavy, others proportionally weighted to make the longest of journeys…but when we try to go in reverse, we must first understand that bringing our mental form backwards stalls our flight path and thus sends us crashing and returning our materials and energy to the origin…quickly. It’s like sending all of our energy towards the back of the airplane, except in doing so, we fail to realize that our trajectory has already been predetermined and we may not divert from its path, thus there is no control if this was always meant to be. If we try to determine our own path, we find that there is where we meet our most resistance…going against what the world, the collective consciousness has provided and intended for our story. Thinking about bringing our physical being backwards in time is pointless. The energy that exists after-the-fact is what is supposed to be there, and thus the transfers we had in the past exist only as a reference from where we once shared a plane of existence…no possibility for a complete recreation of a past event…we would already know an outcome and so we would not behave the same way…foolish to play for too long.
Slingshots, Pencils and Dartboards
Is it one hand that fires every slingshot? How many hands? Is there a single or is there a multitude of origins?
Every slingshot fire is aimed at a spherical dartboard, and we are shot out at different angles, different initiations, different speeds, different trajectories, but that means that we are constantly coming into contact with each other…yes time, or air, creates the drag and shapes us all, but our transfers account for an incredible amount of sculpting. We bounce off one another, sharing and stealing on our way to our destination on the dartboard…this is only an examination of the human consciousness…but we all have places we “end up,” and a sphere has no beginning and no end, completely uniform…at least what we see from a distance. an infinite amount of bullseyes, but no out-of-bounds. The human experience will never be wrong or failed, we are as we should be. My bullseye is different from yours, and all that means is that our core energy is composed of parts that were not as close together when we came crashing into this planet millions of years ago…or I came on an asteroid before or after you…imagine, we think, act, and feel differently, maybe because my asteroid hit the earth a few million years after each other. I wonder what type of impact we had, if that affects our composition and cognitive expressions or not…The idea of a sphere allows for an infinite amount of consciousnesses to find its most closest energy, and even if we all end up with bullseyes, I’m on this side of the sphere and you’re on that side…both equally appreciative and definitive in our destination…we define happiness, forever beautifully relative.
(Originally written 9/16)
