Burning for ‘Merca

Garrett Copeland
Sep 4, 2018 · 3 min read
“pair of zebra adidas Yeezy Boost 350 v2 shoes up in the air” by Greg Tockner on Unsplash

Property damage to make a point is near and dear to America’s heart.

I’m not surprised at all to see capitalist patriots of the GOP practice one of America’s oldest traditions to teach that old devil Colin Kaepernick a good lesson.

I just wonder if they’ve thought it through.

We’ve practiced this noble form of political discontent since before Samuel Adams made his beer, or Paul Revere got outridden by a 16 year old girl. Sons of Liberty gathered with both of them on one December night in 1789, however, to send a polite message to the East India Company and flip that wacky King George a gigantic bird.

Some of them dressed up in animal hides and feathers. Our history books suggest it was a hopelessly botched attempt to make it look like a native raid, but that sounds like liberal propaganda.

No, our founders were always wizened old sages and would never resort to crime. It was only a few short weeks after Thanksgiving- which would be practiced nationally for the first time only 16 years later. The costumes must have been to honor those noble savages sharing selflessly with the puritans of Pride Rock-

Or was it Plymouth Rock? Sometimes it’s hard to tell predators apart.

“shallow focus photography of lioness” by Pawan Sharma on Unsplash

Anyway, that Boston Tea Party sure sent a message, and it only took wonton property damage to do it! That footballer had the audacity to protest in silence without breaking, burning, or stealing a single other person’s property to do it. This cannot stand!

Or kneel- whatever.

Old glory has plenty of valiant men and women in uniform- working tirelessly to protecting that footballer’s right to piss off stadiums full of self-righteous fans. It only costs trainloads of innocent lives a year- he should stand up when America sings about how great it is.

Respect is earned, not given. So he’d better give it to get it.

We should all take it a step farther and show Nike what we think of their new marketing campaign. We gave them our money and bought their merchandise. Now we should spend our time and money to burn our own stuff in effigy! This kind of disrespect should be illegal!

Just hope the fire department doesn’t give us white folk a ticket for being a firebug.

Damn government’s always butting in.

“Statue of Liberty, New York” by tom coe on Unsplash

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Garrett Copeland

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A modern witch and lunatic skeptic. Spinning webs and bleeding ink to scratch out wonderous tales with teeth. Writer.Garrett.Copeland@gmail.com

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