Wow! I just want to say I admire your courage and thank you for sharing this. FYI, in case you ever need it, there is a blood pressure medication called propranolol that musicians, dancers, and performers use who have adrenaline response when they have to perform/speak publicly. You may never need it but it’s good to know about. I used it in nursing school to make presentations and to keep my hands from shaking during mock clinicals.