Habit Formation Experiment: Month 6, Week #1 Update

I’m writing this update because with the massive changes laid out last week for the experiment, it would be worthy to analyze the initial reaction during the first week.

It’s 11AM on Day #4 and I suddenly had a waterfall of anxiety wash over me.

Consciously my brain knew everything was fine and to focus on compassion and patience, I hadn’t missed a single habit so why the sudden heavy chest, rapid heartbeat, layer of sweat?

I wrote that on August 4th after having mild anxiety symptoms though nowhere near the level of a panic attack. It was unusual though because I hadn’t missed a single old or new habit, perhaps my body was just reacting to the influx of sudden change?

Looking back on it now I overloaded myself on August 3rd for sure. I ran 6 miles, lifted weights at the gym, and spent almost four hours doing meal prep cooking.

Understandably the fatigue from these activities added with the inherent stressors of the new routine created a lot of tension and pressure that really stretched me at the seams.

I think the critical moment was at 11AM that morning on the 4th where my mind and body was desperately telling me to slow it down even just a fraction so I could gather myself.

Gradual habit formation is a lot like strength training, it’s a gradual process of a steady increase in weight lifted. When your muscles are overworked during your current peak strength, you’re sore and tired but with some rest your strength increases a fraction, then you rinse and repeat.

The Results: Missing Four Habits in Two Days

From August 4th to August 5th, I missed two habits each of those days:

1. Pomodoro Tracking & Sleep Schedule on August 4th
2. < 30 Mins. of Video & Daily Writing on August 5th

On both those days I actually missed my habits because of my new habit, Reconnecting with 1 Person a week. I had to juggle a workload when pressed for time so I wasn’t able to get enough done on the 4th, and I was too busy entertaining on the 5th.

The one thing I’ve learned after the first week (but in general throughout the last 6 months) is that sacrifices need to be made. You can’t win them all but you can’t cry about the losses either.

A combination of three things have helped me stay focused even when I miss a few habits or get an overwhelming feeling of anxiety: Compassion, Patience, and Stoicism.

Compassion is something we seldom give ourselves

Our generation is so hooked on continuous improvement that with any moment of failure or setback, we pick up a whip and apply self-inflicted punishment on ourselves. But what good is injuring ourselves? It doesn’t change what has already happened and it only slows us down from getting back up.

In the past if I failed to live up to unrealistic perfectionist standards, I’d tell myself, “Screw it. I’ll just watch Netflix for the next six hours.” But it’s stupid to say that you won’t do something if you can’t do it perfect. No one’s perfect.

Compassion is a constant reminder and gift that we seldom give ourselves but is in essence one of the only things that will get us back up on our feet even if in that brief moment you’re enjoying being down just for a second.

Patience is fleeting with what technology enables us to do

We’re all connected, we all have super computers in our pockets, we’re all entitled by our tools to be able to do anything and fast, right?

Unfortunately most of us agree with that. It is true that we have all the tools it takes to start a booming business from our laptop, we all have the tools to shift the world, change public opinion, become the greatness that we believe we deserve.

Baby Boomers think Millennials are entitled but it’s only because we’re impatient. I don’t want to turn this into a conversation about entitlement but I do think we need more patience.

Patience is closely related to compassion because it helps us keep in perspective the amount of time necessary to improve on anything in life. One thing I always remind myself is this:

“People overestimate what they can do in a short period of time and underestimate what they can do in a long period of time.”

And it’s so true. When we don’t see traction in a week, we drop the project because we’re too enamored by our friends and public image folks doing 100x what we tried in 1000x less time.

The thing is, it doesn’t matter! Just be patient and keep chugging along little by little because in all likelihood they did the same thing too.

Stoicism isn’t about not feeling, it’s about not letting feelings get to you

When missing a habit or two in the past I’d beat myself up about it. I’d be disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the growing consecutive day count anymore or the green boxes in the Momentum app stacking up day after day.

But in reality the point of this isn’t to watch numbers grow or to stare at green boxes. The point is establishing a positive new habit and there’s no difference from missing a day as long as you pick it back up the next day.

We often fret in emotion and get stuck just like I mentioned earlier, we become Netflix fiends the moment the shit hits the fan.

Of course all of us want to trade in patience for a good ol’ fashioned freak out once in awhile but that’s never really helped anyone.

Remaining stoic isn’t about the rejection or prevention of emotion, it’s about the skillful control of one’s emotion as to not hinder progress towards a goal. It’s something that I remind myself as much as when I’m 90 consecutive days into a habit as when I’ve broken a 90 day streak.

Massive excitement and commitment to that 91st day results in massive disappointment but if the 91st day means as little as day 0, then there’s nothing left to do or feel but to continue on to day 1 all over again.

So yeah, I feel good

It’s six days in but I feel myself settling into the new routine little by little. I feel like a steak resting in the fridge just in the midst of soaking up the initial spices of the marinade.

Hah, silly metaphor but we’ll see how things are in a few weeks.