I like getting getting Spam

I’ve developed a technique such that whenever I receive an email from an organisation that I’ve never submitted my email address to, or that has no good reason to just walk in and help themselves to some of my attention, then I simply their mark their mail as Spam, and whoosh away it goes.

And not only does their first trespass into my inbox instantly disappear, so too will all their future missives.

You know the kind. They typically begin with insincere and fleeting rhetoric about my health and wellbeing, as if we’re best mates who were out on the lash just last Friday, followed by a quick sashay into talking about how they “would be delighted to discuss how we can help you.”

If only they knew how much they’ve already helped me.

Because, by sending me unsolicited email they’re generously enlisting themselves to become part of my personal crowd-sourced list of companies that I’ll never do business with.

— Natural deselection

Companies that are stupid enough in this day and age to blindly spam out gigabytes of badly written emails using mailing lists they’ve acquired from some or other, and oftentimes likely dubious mailing list provider, are not in fact trawling for glistening opportunities to sell their products or service. Rather they are opting themselves out from the opportunity of ever doing business with me, at least.

As a marketing method it sits just one compartment away from spending money on Google Adwords that blare “NEVER BUY OUR STUFF”.

And companies that stupid deserve all they get.

And I for one am ‘delighted to help them with that’.

PS. If you’ve ever sent me unsolicited email and wonder why I never got back to you, despite repeated attempts. Now you know.