Being a People Pleaser is a Strength, Not a Weakness

Gary Vaynerchuk
2 min readMar 5, 2015

“I’m a people pleaser” is not something you expect for someone to say with much pride.

Am I wrong? When you think, “He’s a people pleaser”, what kind of person do you think I’m talking about? A push over? Someone who is too eager?

The truth is, many people see a desire to please people as a weakness. But I don’t see it that way at all. It’s time to start thinking about it as a strength.

We’ve been told by society that it is a negative trait, that it’s a flaw. It’s been perceived that way and reinforced for so long that it’ll take a long time to change that perception. But I truly believe that it can be one of your greatest strengths.

What is wrong with wanting to give? Being positive? Making sure everyone around you is happy? To me, these sound like the furthest things from a “weakness” and it blows my mind why people would want to label it as such. However, it can become a problem, but not in any of the ways I just listed.

When does it become a problem?

When you don’t know how to ask for something in return.

You can give give give all you want, but if you never step up and ask for something back, you’re not going to win. Life is about making connections, finding opportunities, and working hard. When you give someone something they need, when you make a dream a reality for them, they, in a sense, owe you. And they will be much more willing to do something for you because of it. It’s a give and receive scenario, and it’s as old as time. But you have to ask. Nothing will ever happen if you don’t just step up and ask.

So stop trying to overcome the people pleasing part of yourself. You don’t want to, and you shouldn’t let people tell you otherwise. Truly wanting to be able to make others happy is a tremendous personality trait. But you can’t forget to look out for yourself. Be vocal about what you need. You can’t forget your right hooks with your jabs.

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Gary Vaynerchuk

Family first! But after that, businessman. CEO of @vaynermedia. Host of #DailyVee & The #AskGaryVee Show. A dude who loves The Hustle @Winelibrary & the @NYJets