The Ultimate Advice for Every 20 Year Old
During the filming of #AskGaryVee Show 244, Taylor, a 22 year old fresh out of college, phoned in for advice on how she can build a business. What followed was one of the most important pieces of advice I have recorded and is applicable to almost all my community, but definitely to young people across the world between 20–30 years old. Here is how the call with Taylor played out word for word:
Gary: Hey Taylor, it’s GaryVee. You’re on The #AskGaryVee Show.
Taylor: No way!
Gary: Yes way.
Taylor: Holy crap! Okay.
Gary: Where you from?
Taylor: Yeah, sweet. I’m from Buffalo, New York.
Gary: I love it, are you a Bills fan?
Taylor: Unfortunately yes.
Gary: I know you said unfortunately ’cause you’re trying..
Taylor: We’re not doing good.
Gary: Well listen, neither are the Jets, don’t worry. So what’s going on?
Taylor: Nothing much. I basically was just dying to ask you a question. Currently graduated college last May and I’m trying to build my own business, brand, hustle, all that kinda stuff and my question for you is, and I’m probably sure that a lot of people ask this —
Gary: It’s okay.
Taylor: The same things.
Gary: It’s okay.
Taylor: How do you get over the stump of you’re graduating, and you feel all this pressure ’cause you’re trying to build something but you’re still so young. But you wanna do the stuff and grow it big. I’m just in a rut and I can’t get out of it. But I have a hustle and a drive that I know I’ll be able to build something. But I’m just in this space that’s not allowing me to.
Gary: I know where you’re at. Let me help you. The space you’re in is probably the macro, micro issue. So it’s macro patience, micro speed, right?
Gary: What do I mean by that? You need to be patient as fuck, Taylor. You’re , 22–23years-old. Like what do you think’s gonna happen overnight?
Taylor: Yeah, I know.
Gary: You need to be fast. 7A.M. to two in the morning every day.
But in the big picture, you need to realize nothing good is gonna happen for the next six years.
Taylor: Okay. Do you think that I should just try every good idea that I think I have and just go for it all out? Or do you think I should stick with one thing at a time?
Gary: I think the fact that you even asked that question, that you should taste flirting with a lot of different things because you’ll be crippled by the what if if you don’t. Even though that’s not the perfect formula to build the biggest short term wealth because you should triple down on one thing instead of being half pregnant on nine.
Taylor: Okay, I like that.
Gary: Taylor, let me tell you something. Let me ask you, the pressure, who do you? Like are you trying to prove to yourself, to your siblings, to your parents, to the world? Who are you trying to prove that you’re successful to, or that this was the right call, or you’re gonna make it?
That’s what you have to figure out.
Taylor: Hmm, that’s a good question.
Gary: What are you impatient for? What’s the problem? You wanna buy a fuckin’ Rolex? What’s the rush?
Taylor: I feel like I’ve known that I’m meant to do something big.
Gary: Me too.
Taylor: And I grew up in an entrepreneurial household.
Gary: Me too.
Taylor: So it’s in my blood, it’s in my bones.
Taylor: I feel like I watch all these other Millennials hitting these huge I guess milestones in their life.
Gary: What milestones?
Taylor: Then I’m sitting here.
Gary: Let’s break it down. How old are you?
Taylor: I’m 22 , about to be 23 .
Gary: Okay, what milestone, please give me a Millennial and the milestone they achieved that makes you feel like you’re just sitting in fucking Buffalo?
Taylor: Well, I’m sitting in Buffalo, which is one thing I’m not happy about. But..
Gary: That’s right ’cause it’s home of the Buffalo Bills, piece of shit team.
Taylor: Yeah. (laughs)
Gary: But before you go there, forget about sitting in Buffalo, who’s the Millennial and what’s the milestone that’s making you feel like you’re sitting there?
Go. The truth, go.
Taylor: Well honestly there’s people on social media which definitely is not always true.
Taylor: But I watch, oh god, the only thing on the spot I can think of is a Kardashian or a Jenner which is lame, but. (laughing)
Gary: Can we talk about this please?
Taylor: Yeah, I feel like, sure.
Gary: Like you’re telling me that Kylie Jenner’s fucking trillion followers on Instagram makes you feel like you’re just sitting there?
Taylor: No, I feel like the fact that she’s already got a business started that’s super successful, obviously that comes with her fame.
Gary: Did you factor in the fact that her sisters and mom architected something for years while she was a teenager that she was able to walk directly into,that gave her a springboard? That she had the financial capabilities of deploying ungodly amounts of plastic surgery, and all the other variable things that she’s been able to do to create that culture,and that financial benefit?
Gary: Did you factor in that her mom is a ninja architect of business and created that framework?
Taylor: Yeah and I feel like not many people give them the credit for that.
Gary: I agree.
Taylor: I totally think that they built this empire.
Gary: I agree. But what the fuck does that have to do with you?
Taylor: It has nothing to do with me. I know.
Gary: No shit. Remember how I? I don’t know if you saw this where I said stop looking at your friends’ shit or whatever the fuck I put on Instagram?
Gary: I don’t know if you saw it or not but it doesn’t matter. Like you looking at the Kardashians is the most ludicrous horseshit I’ve ever heard in my life.
Taylor: Well that’s just first one that can pop into my when you asked me.
Gary: Great. Listen, we’re here, we’re here. Give me another one.
Taylor: There’s a guy in London. I can’t think of his name at the top of my head.
Gary: I’m gonna stop, I’m gonna stop you right now.
Gary: Let me give you some, I was gonna say fatherly. I guess my father was 40, no I’ll give you some massively older brother, uncle advice.
Taylor: (laughs) Okay, yes.
Every second you spend thinking about what somebody else has is taking away from time that you could create something for yourself.
Gary: You’re losing. You’re losing ’cause you’re laying in your bed looking at somebody’s fucking glamorous photoshopped picture of them doing something cool. You’re envious, and you’re jealous, and you’re impatient, and it’s crippling your upside.
Taylor: Yeah ’cause that’s where I wanna be and I know I’m not there yet.
Gary: You haven’t done shit.
Taylor: I know.
Gary: So go do shit that actually gets you there so that you earn it instead of like you dwelling that you’re not there and hoping that’s something’s gonna happen. I don’t know what’s going through your mind.
Taylor: Yeah. Well I guess I’m hustling on the side, but I don’t think I’m doing enough I guess.
Gary: You definitely aren’t doing enough if you have enough time to fucking consume the content of a Kardashian and some boy in London.
Taylor: That’s true. (laughs)
Gary: Taylor, listen to me. Taylor, listen. You’ve gotta deploy patience and you gotta love the process. I’m addicted to the process of the battle scars, the setbacks, the lack of, you know. Taylor, I gave up my entire 20s, all of ’em. Imagine not doing anything fun or going anywhere for the next eight years, including Saturday and Sunday. That’s what I did from 22 to 30 . Every day I spent hours a day in a liquor store, thought about a liquor store, built a liquor store, sold wine. Like spent every day. Like this last weekend, don’t lie to me Taylor, what did you do this last weekend? What did you do fuckin’ Saturday and Sunday? Tell me the truth, don’t bullshit me.
Taylor: Yeah, no bullshit, I’m helping my mom right now on digital media and branding for her company.
Taylor: So I had a marketing meeting.
Taylor: With one of the people doing that.
Gary: Love you.
Taylor: Then I also have coming up..
Gary: How much time did you have for yourself on Saturday and Sunday that was not working every minute? Tell me the truth.
Taylor: A lot, a lot.
Gary: I know. So that’s the punchline, right? Now imagine this.
Gary: When I tell you this. You spent more downtime on not your career this weekend than I did in my entire 20s combined.
Taylor: Oh shit, okay. That put things into perspective.
Gary: I think so.
Taylor: Awesome. Yeah, I need to just get to it.
Gary: Taylor, you need to do me a huge favor. If you really wanna win and you wanna come to New York in eight years, and shake my hand, here’s what you need to do. You need to stop giving a shit about what anybody else has and realize that if you put your head down and just work for the next years, no glamor, no new fucking car, suitcase, jewelry, trip, event, no Coachella,no fucking new fucking sneakers. Like fuckin’ work, you will have it. Every time you care about one of the things I just mentioned, it will slow down your process of having it.
Taylor: Okay so in less than eight years when I’m a millionaire by 25 , I’ll come shake your hand.
Gary: I promise you that statement itself made me 100% guarantee that you won’t.
Gary: Yes. Yes, that’s how this works. Being a millionaire at 25 when you’re 22 , and you’re dick shit, and haven’t even started is inconceivable unless you fuckin’ hit the lotto. What’s the romance?
Taylor: Hmm, okay.
Gary: What’s the romance? I wanna make, you know how everybody says, “GaryVee, when are you gonna buy the Jets? “In two years?” and then I reply 20 years . I’m a romantic about the journey and the process which is why I’m actually gonna pull it off. You’re trying to be a millionaire by 25 . How, Taylor?
Taylor: It’s just a goal I’ve always had.
Taylor: Right now with what I’m doing I guess it’s not.
Gary: That’s right, it’s an arbitrary bullshit thing that means nothing.
Gary: Wouldn’t you rather guarantee millionairship by 36 by doing long term marathon running versus doing a bunch of bullshit sprints that guarantees never having it? And I promise you, a funny thing happens to your self-esteem when you’re 31 and not a millionaire because you’ve been chasing fast fucking cash, and you’re now six years removed from not hitting your goal. Your self-esteem starts fuckin’ with your head.
Taylor: Mhmmm, yeah.
Gary: Listen carefully.
Taylor: I agree.
Gary: I wanna buy the New York Jets, but when I clarify it to everybody, I want the process of trying to buy the New York Jets more than buying the New York Jets.
Taylor: Yeah. ’Cause ultimately that’s the end goal, but there’s a process behind that.
Gary: You have to understand, I don’t give a fuck about the end goal. I care about the process, the enjoyment of doing it. You’re not enjoying yourself trying to get to a million bucks over the next three years.
Taylor: No. (laughs)You’re right.
Gary: Oh I know I’m right. I’m just sticking on this right now because I feel like we’ve gone into this deep enough that I might as well hold on for a couple more minutes to see if I can actually pull you through instead of you just being on this high of practicality for 36 hours, and then going back to Instagram bullshit in 48 hours.
Taylor: I’m gonna deactivate that shit. (laughs)
Gary: No, you need to learn to discipline, to be able to put it in the proper bucket.
Taylor: Yeah. I just feel like I hold myself at this pedestal only it’s crippling myself ’cause I’m not actually doing the things to get there.
Gary: Of course so you’re playing a fake narrative instead of putting in the actual work that’s needed to actually pull it off. Wishing instead of executing. Then what’s happen is you’re living a fake world to yourself, but you know it, which then changes your behavior in the way you interact with others.
Taylor: That’s true.
Gary: I know. Like for all my bravado now, I was real quiet in my 20s. People made fun of me, like, “You work “in your dad’s liquor store? “I’m on Wall Street making a $100,000 , I got a BMW.” I’m like, “That’s nice, Pat.”
Gary: Do you understand the level of disrespect I have for Pat? Do you understand the level of disrespect I have for all those -year-olds flashing shit on fuckin’ Instagram with short term moves? I can’t wait for the fucking world to melt. I can’t wait for all these bullshit people to get fuckin’ hosed out when the economy gets shit.
Taylor: Yeah it’s ’cause they’re short term affording these things that are flashy, but in the long term, it’s not sustainable for what they’re doing right now.
Gary: Yeah but meanwhile, you’re admiring the fuck out of them.
Taylor: I know, it’s a problem.
Gary: No shit, Taylor.
Taylor: It’s really bad.
Gary: Taylor, you need to start lovin’ the process, and the work, and the grind. You need to start respecting people that are like sleeping with like four roommates and buying their t-shirts at Walmart.
Taylor: Yeah, you know what? I feel like I need that wake up. But I feel like I need to hit rock bottom and have that wake up. I’m too comfortable right now. It’s annoying the shit out of me.
Gary: I don’t think so. I think you’re saying you need to hit rock bottom because it buys you more time to bullshit like you are right now.
Taylor: Hmm, I never thought of that.
Gary: You know what I mean? Like you know it’s not working. You’re just saying, by the way, let me go complete left field on you. You’re a 22-year-old girl, woman. Like it’s okay to enjoy a little bit now too. You’ve heard me say regrets, I don’t know how deep you know my content, but once in a blue moon when people ask me the advice for 25-year-old Gary, the answer is go have fun, asshole. It would’ve been okay to go to Vegas, or Acapulco, or like do some dumb shit. Do you know what I mean?
Taylor: Yeah. I think I’ve had my fun in college though and now I feel like it’s time to work.
Gary: No, no. That’s the bullshit PR version Taylor. The reality Taylor is still fuckin’ in that zone.
Taylor: Hmm. Yeah.
Gary: Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t hold yourself accountable to arbitrary bullshit fantasies. Just put in work and enjoy that. Enjoy eating shit, and dirt, and bleeding, and the grind, and don’t give a fuck about what anybody else thinks, why you haven’t done it, why are you doing that. Have four jobs. Fuckin’ Wendys, Walmart, your side hustle. Work, train, learn. Don’t think you’re a digital expert just because you’re 22 and you have an Instagram account. Show me how much fuckin’ shit you’ve sold with your digital social media skills.
Gary: Do you understand?
Taylor: No, I do. Yeah.
Gary: You’re just completely in the wrong game and I’m holding you onto this because you and 99% of the people that are watching are playing the same game.
Taylor: I know which is why I wanted to ask the question. I’m obviously not the only one.
Gary: No, you’re the majority and the massive majority. The question is, you just need to understand the following.
You can trick losers, you’re not tricking me.
Taylor: Good ’cause I want honest answers.
Gary: You don’t need my honest answer. You know you’re not tricking yourself either. None of us are tricking ourselves.
Gary: I just wanna remind you that you might be able to trick your Uncle Hal, and you might be able to trick your girlfriend that was in your fucking college with you. But you’re not tricking the winner when you’re bullshitting. Got it?
Taylor: Got it.
Gary: So even if you’re posturing, and pandering, and PR-ing yourself, no winner thinks you’re winning.
Taylor: Yeah, ’cause I’m not.
Gary: I know. Work. That’s the answer to all these questions.
Taylor: Got it.
Gary: Work, learn things, do stuff, try to sell shit, learn how to make money. Work.
Taylor: Alright, I will.
Gary: Was this good?
Taylor: Awesome. Thank you so much.
Gary: Can you do me a huge favor?
Gary: Can you email me in 30 days, and don’t bullshit me, what’s your Twitter handle or Instagram?
Taylor: Instagram it’s @TheFabulousJourney.
Gary: Me, and my whole team, and the entire VaynerNation is watching.
Taylor: Oh shit, okay. Got it.
Gary: I’m gonna smoke you out of your bullshit.
Taylor: (laughs) Okay.
Gary: Everybody’s watching.
Taylor: Okay, I got it.
Gary: Do you understand?
Gary: I like your blue dress.
Taylor: (laughs) Thank you, I got it on sale.
Gary: I like that answer. That’s the best thing you said all fuckin’ day. That’s the best thing you said this whole time. Listen, slow and steady wins the race. You’re only competing with yourself.
Gary: Got it?
Taylor: Got it.
Gary: Nobody else defines you. Not me, not everybody watching, not your mom, not the fucking Kardashians, you.
Taylor: Got it.
Gary: You can grind and be patient for 10 years every day and still be nine years younger than me and I would trade places with you. That’s how amazing having time on your side is.
Taylor: Yeah, time’s everything.
Gary: So use it.
Taylor: I will.
Gary: Good, see ya.
Taylor: Thank you.
Gary: You’re welcome.
This conversation really struck a chord with me. Her actions aren’t mapping to her desire and I know that her thought process is the same one that so many people in their 20s have today and it’s just not going to lead them to place where they’ll win. I hold ZERO punches in this one and I would love for you to check out the full the video. Patience is a tough game, my friends .. there’s just no way around it.
Thanks for reading! :) If you enjoyed it, hit that heart button below. Would mean a lot to me and it helps other people see the story.
This article was first published on my website garyvaynerchuk.com.