Good Movies, Bad News: Part 2 — Kindergarten Cop

There are so many feel good, charming movies out there we know and love. But if we peel back the layers on some of them, we might find a not-so charming story. A story if we read about it in a newspaper or saw it reported on TV, we’d cringe.

Yep, I’m about to ruin some of our all-time favorite films.

It’s “Good Movies, Bad News”.

*minor spoilers follow*

Part 2: Kindergarten Cop

Have a headache? Could be a tumor.

Synopsis: cop goes undercover as kindergarten teacher, employs military-style training.

Real Life: Imagine waking up one morning and reading about an Arnold Schwarzenegger-like cop posing as a teacher for 4–5 year olds. Your first impression would be “This guy…was supposed to be a teacher?” In the movies, we know if Arnold Schwarzenegger was our teacher, our bus driver, or our pregnant dad, we trust him. But if this wasn’t him, how would you feel? We’re talking a hulk of a cop, someone who’s been in the gritty underbelly of the city. And now he has to manage naptime? He uses army discipline to get his class into shape. Hello, PTA.

Admittedly, there is some upside. He’d be the best line of defense in that school God forbid anything happened (see climax of film). Plus, who didn’t get excited when he confronted the father who was abusing his son and wife? But the reason I’m including this movie in this segment is because of the societal uproar this would cause.

Once the smoke cleared and everyone got past the hero cop saving the day, there would be so much debate over whether or not the cop was the reason all this bad stuff happened. How did no one know he wasn’t a real teacher? Why did they let him teach my son/daughter with his crazy-disciplinary skills? What would have happened if his gun went off? You’d see administrators, education board members in boxes talking with pundits on FOX and CNN about whether or not there should be reform, a better screening system. The cop would not be arrested, but there’d be an unnecessary stink that would follow him. He’d eventually write a book about his experiences and get a TV movie deal.

It’s a horrible news story not so much what this guy did, but because of what it would lead to. We all know it. Modern society is so political correct now, even something with good intentions could be misconstrued as wrong (see “Good Movies, Bad News Part 1”).

Stay tuned for Part 3…

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