Mastering The Solo Game: How I Forge Strong Relationships And Communicate Effectively As a Solopreneur
Developing strong communication skills is essential when it comes to building a successful career. But your communication skills play a pivotal role in your private life too.
I know you lack effective communication or you're just curious. That's why you tapped on this blog post.
But why the f*ck you should even care about effective and impactful communication?
Because Effective Communication is the cornerstone of success in every aspect of life. It’s the difference between being understood or misunderstood, building meaningful connections or causing conflicts, and achieving your goals or falling short. Whether in personal relationships, professional endeavors, or everyday interactions, mastering communication skills empowers you to navigate challenges, influence others, and create positive outcomes. In short, caring about effective communication is caring about your ability to thrive and make a difference in your life.
Now that we’ve covered why mastering the art of effective communication is crucial.
Here's What You Can Expect From This Blog Post:
- Knowing The Human Nature (It Matters)
- The Most Important Subject Of Any Conversation
- How To Make People Like You Real Quick
- How To Make a Good Impression
- Building Rapport And Trust
- Conclusion
So let's dive in! (Just stay with me — you'll gain enough value)
If you’re feeling a bit lazy, you can skip ahead to the highlighted quotes of each section, but reading everything is highly recommended for better understanding.
Knowing The Human Nature
If you want to develop people skills, the first thing you to do is obvious — You have to understand people. You have to know why we do the things we do and how we react in certain circumstances. Understanding people means recognizing them for what they're — not for what you want them to be, nor for what you think they're, but for what they really are.
So, what are they? Let's get the elephant out of the room right in the begging.
People are above all, interested in themselves. Yes. Sorry. No matter who you are, people will always be a million times more interested in themselves than in you. No judgement here. I bet that you are also a million times more interested in yourself than in other people, right?
No worries. That's okay. It's human nature. Just accept this uncomfortable reality. you can be a million times more interested in yourself than in other people, and still do good things for them — but we will get to that later.
People's actions are governed by self-interest. As I said before, that in itself is not a bad thing. You don't have to become all apologetic or embarrassed. It's human nature. It has always been this way and it probably always will be. It's something we all have in common.
In every human relationship, your counterpart will always think to ask themselves. ‘What's in it for me?’ By the way, you're asking this question in all your interactions too, consciously or subconsciously.
Does this all sound too negative? well, it gets better right now. Once you have accepted this reality, you can use it successfully in all your interactions with people (By explaining what’s in it for them).
People Are Above All Interested In Themselves And Not In You
The Most Important Subject Of Any Conversation
Are you ready to polish your communications skills? Do you want to know the most important and ultimately the most interesting subject in the world that any person would love to talk about with you?
Ready? Okay. Here it is:
The most important subject that anyone will want to talk about with you is… THEMSELVES .
I apologize if I sound cynical, but it is what it is. Stay with me, though. This blog post will change your relationship and interactions with others. Just stay with me.
So, when you talk with people about themselves, they'll love you for your wise choice of subject. They'll be totally fascinated by the subject and show an enormous interest.
Have you ever been to a networking meeting or a social event and had a talk to a person who was just talking about themselves all the time? (At least I’ve been to events like that, and it was really annoying). By the way how did you feel? Were you very attracted to that person? Did you want to spend more time with them? Or were you just waiting for a reason to get the hell out of dodge City?
On the other hand, you might have talked to a person with people skills who talked about you the entire time, who asked questions and was interested in you, wanting to know what and how you're doing? How did you feel?
Who of those two persons would you prefer to be around?
When you are talking to people, forget about ‘I’, ‘my’, and ‘mine’ for a while and substitute it with a word that'll make you a very sought after conversational partner: The word ‘You’.
‘What can I do for you?’ ‘Is there anything I can help YOU with?’ ‘This can be very beneficial for’. ‘How are you today?’ ‘What are YOUR favorite…?’ When you get from ‘I’, ‘my’, ‘mine’, to ‘YOU’ and ‘YOUR’ your power and influence will increase by a significant degree.
Do you want to know another way of using people's interest in themselves? Here it comes: get them talking about themselves. Who doesn't love to talk about themselves? If you can show true interest and get people to talk about themselves, they'll like you a lot, so ask them lots of questions about themselves.
‘How is everything going Darshan? How is your family doing? How are things at — — — ? What have you been up to since our last meeting?’
Stop Talking About Yourself And Start Talking About The Person In Front Of You Or Get Them To Talk About Themselves
How To Make People Like You Real Quick
‘You never get a second chance to make a first impression.’
Old Yeah! Cheesy? Maybe! But also true as the truth gets.
Experts say that people subconsciously decide if they like us or not in a couple of seconds. The first few seconds decide in which direction a relationship will go. Once this decision is made, it is very, very difficult to change it (I've experienced it personally). The person you've just met already knows if he/she wants to go out with you. The HR executive already knows if he/she will offer you a job or not when you stick your nose through the door. They might not be aware of it yet, but they know.
Do you know how you can make most people friendly, cooperative and polite in those first few seconds?
SMILE — and smile a lot!
In the first moment when the door opens, when you make eye contact, even before you say anything; give the person your most sincere smile. A smile can do miracles. Did you ever try it?
Smile at the baker, the butcher, in the Macdonalds, at the newspaper stand and see what happens.
Smile even when you're talking on the phone! The person on the other side of the phone will notice it.
Smiling is contagious, so in most cases, people will smile back and be nice to you. Mostly in human relationships, you will get right back what you put out to other people. What goes around comes around. Be nice to people and people will be nice to you. Be rude, and people will be rude. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. So, if you're nice and your counterpart is rude… become even nicer! The meaner they get, the nicer you get. Consider it a challenge. Nobody can resist long against sincere politeness, a pure heart, and a good smile.
Smile And Win In All Relationships
How To Make a Good Impression
You tell people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. If you want to make a good impression, giving yourself the value you deserve is crucial. Before expecting people to value you, think good of you, and admire you, YOU have to value you, think well of you and admire you. Do you follow?
You can't expect others to believe in you if you don't believe in you, yet. Start being proud of yourself, of whoever you are, of where you come from, and what you do for a living. This is not the time to be modest! Careful though. It's also not the time to be arrogant. I'm talking about healthy
self-esteem. Knowing who you are, knowing your strength, but also knowing that you're not better than anybody else (and remembering that nobody is better than you either).
You can influence the option of other people about you through your behavior. Behave in a way that will have a positive effect on people.
Handle yourself with pride and confidence. Be sincere with people. Say only things you mean and mean the things you say.
Cheap compliments, empty promises, and meaningless words will always be discovered and cause the opposite effect of what you want to achieve. Always keep in mind that it takes months and years to build a good reputation, but only seconds to destroy it. If you show genuine passion and enthusiasm, it will be difficult to resist you and to not like you. Enthusiasm is contagious.
There are also some ‘don'ts’ that can hinder making a good impression, like being over anxious. Being over anxious makes people wonder, and they start doubting. ‘Why is he so anxious?’, What does he have to hide?’
Never try to make yourself look good, by putting other people down. This makes you look bad and can damage your effort to make friends and influence people. Remember — a person that treats you nicely and disrespects the waiter is not a nice person. Stay away from people like that and most importantly: Don't be like that (or people will stay away from you).
Make The Following Your Golden Rule: If You Can't Say Nice Things, Say Nothing. Don't Put People Down.
Other People's Opinion About Us Is Primarily Made By How We Behave.
Building Rapport And Trust
As a solopreneur and aspiring entrepreneur, I’ve learned firsthand the importance of building meaningful relationships and networking to thrive in my career. Whether it’s forging connections with clients, collaborators, or mentors, building rapport and trust has been instrumental in my journey.
To build rapport and trust, I’ve adopted a few key strategies. First and foremost, I make a concerted effort to show genuine interest in the other person. I actively listen to what they have to say, ask open-ended questions, and demonstrate empathy by acknowledging their thoughts and feelings. Additionally, I make sure to maintain eye contact, smile, and use positive body language to convey warmth and approachability.
Furthermore, I’ve found that following through on my commitments and being reliable in my interactions is essential. These small yet meaningful steps have gone a long way in building rapport and fostering trust in my relationships.
It’s crucial to remember that once you’ve built trust and rapport with someone, it’s essential to cherish and nurture those connections. Trust is incredibly valuable, and rebuilding it can be challenging. So, I make it a priority to maintain these connections with care, as they are the foundation of strong relationships and effective communication in my career.
Show Genuine Interest In Other Person.
Listen To What They Have To Say.
Ask Open-Ended Questions.
Demonstrate Empathy By Acknowledging Their Thoughts And Feelings
Make Sure To Maintain Eye Contact, Smile, And Use Positive Body Language.
And Make It a Priority To Maintain These Connections With Care.
Conclusion
Dear Reader. You have reached the end of this little guide to becoming at least 1% better at communicating effectively and building meaningful relationships. I’ve gathered a few key insights from the book titled ‘How To Become a People Magnet’ by Marc Reklau. I highly recommend considering that book for becoming 99% better at communication and building relationships.
I sincerely hope you had as much fun reading this little Article as I had writing it. But by now you know: reading it is not enough to take your relationship to the next level. The knowledge of these little tricks and techniques alone won't serve you to improve your relationships with people and influence them. It's the application of this knowledge that will take your personal and professional relationships to the next level. You have few valuable tools in your toolbox now. It's up to you to use them.
All The Best!
Hi, I’m Gaurang. I write about personal growth, money, health, life philosophy, technology trends, entrepreneurial insights, captivating business case studies and invaluable book reviews. To catch my stories in your feed, consider giving me a follow and subscribe to my newsletter. https://medium.com/@gaurangsalunke0
