Film Reflections: ‘This is Where I Leave You’ (2014, Comedy Drama)
IMDB One-liner: A comedy-drama film about four siblings who return to their childhood home and face their past and present challenges.
I first came across this film through a clip on Instagram which is about a husband reacting to the news of him going to be a father from his soon-to-be ex-wife. It was not one of the high-intensity clips where there was a lot of shouting or animated reactions. It was a funny take on the whole situation. The makers could’ve gone ahead and made it a serious scene given that the wife had cheated on the husband (not a spoiler). That’s the most pleasant thing about this film as well. It keeps these otherwise serious moments light with a comic touch, thanks to some superlative actors portraying these roles. The tone and narration of the film got me reminded of a Malayalam (my native tongue) director, Anjali Menon’s drama — Manjadikuru.
Divided by Personalities, United by Unhappiness
At the heart of this film lies a family with each member being at unique junctures of their lives. The film is about what happens when they come together to mourn the death of their father. A group of siblings consisting of A family consisting of Jason Bateman as a heartbroken husband, Adam Driver as carefree aimless Romeo, Corey Stoll as an uptight older brother struggling to have children, Rose Byrne as an elder sister living in the guilt of having walked away from the love of her life. These siblings are so different from each other that a fight breaking out is one dialogue away. However, they all end up coming together in life at a point, when they have one thing in common — unhappy in their relationships.
Not sad and sober
Despite all the unhappiness and despair surrounding the characters, the film is not at all sad and sober. The narrative of the film keeps a thread of hope alive in every scene. There is unconditional support, love and care extended by people whether it be — the daughter crawling into mom’s bed, the younger brother cheering up the older brother rekindling his teenage love, the older sister trying to let the unbottle the emotions from younger ones, it is about how even the most dysfunctional of families could also the best of better side to it.
Life — Pursuit of Equilibrium
While doing a bit of self-reflection about myself as I was watching it. It dawned on me that while growing up, like most Indian children, I interpreted life as an achievement that needed to be unlocked. Feeling envious of people who were considered to be the best at what they do. This led me to believe that outcomes of life are always to be seen in black-and-white terms — whether it be career, personal relationships, personal health and so on. The idea that it could be a spectrum completely escaped my mind for the longest time. Much like the family shown in the film trying to attain equilibrium by pulling each other up, now I realise that it is about taking all the help that is around me to get better every day and be in harmony with all aspects of life.
Coming back home!
Coming back home sometimes can be a strange and familiar experience at the same time. This film encapsulates that perfectly - the feeling of being physically at home, yet not mentally at home. This could also be because as we evolved over the years, our idea of home also changed as well. Hence a physically relatable object is not emotionally relatable anymore.
It got reminded me of the start of my time away from home starting from Japan, followed by Patiala, Nammkal, Trivandrum, Hyderabad, Mumbai, Gurgaon and so many more. Whenever I was back, I would realise and appreciate what I Coming back to home sometimes can be a strange and a familiar experience at the same time. This film encapsulates that perfectly - the feeling of being physically at home, yet not mentally at home. This could also be because as we evolved over the years, our idea of home also changed as well. Hence a physically relatable object is not emotionally relatable anymore.
The film ends on a positive note with Bateman’s character accepting the truth that he’s going to be a father and embracing the idea that there are not perfect lives, but imperfect lives and moments that are made perfect. Let me leave you to the joy of watching by leaving with you my favourite quote from the film:
It would be a terrible mistake to go through life thinking that people are the sum total of what you see.
~End
Thanks to my buddy, Binay Wilson for sharing his ideas. Keep those deep and beautiful insights coming!