Self-care vs. #selfcare!
The term #selfcare has been thrown around a lot lately and Millenials have seemingly made it their own making way for the industries. While the global economies are bitten by COVID-19, the trillion-dollar self-care industry has hit its boom and is all set to move on upwards and onwards. The revenue model of this industry is no different than that of our neighborhood parlor aunty’s. Just as she guilt trips us into an extra facial while we were there only to get our eyebrows plucked similarly the ads pick on our weak spots, hitting self-esteem and equating our sense of looks and personality with our self-esteem and thus, banking on our insecurities.
Online content and commodification of the term “self-care”
The beauty industry is partly responsible for mass anxiety and insecurity and ironically, the same economy is marketing hyper-targeted cures with content and hashtags. Youtubers and content creators will try to capitalize on this trend and stuff this word where it is not even needed. To be honest, 90% of the time, your favorite content creators don’t even use the products they are advertising. Fanciest candles, jade rollers, masks for every part of our body, expensive manicure trips, bubble baths, essential oils, overpriced facial, and more have simply become just another marketing tool to peddle overpriced luxurious products. This type of self-care is unattainable for a lot of middle-class consumers and questions the shaky foundation of self-care and beauty products today. Those things are fine but they are not self-care. They’re rewards. Putting a clay mask and sipping on lemon water while online shopping when apparently you are struggling with money and emotional stress in your life might tighten up those pores, but then you’ll just be stressed out and broke with slightly tighter pores. The motivation behind these products is just to make you happy for a moment instead of ensuring your best self for the rest of society. Don’t get me wrong here, I love dressing up, face-mask sessions, and occasional snacking but I refuse to totally give in to this impulse.
I refuse to support the notion of self-care being sold as a commodity. I refuse to support the idea of “If you can’t afford this, you don’t get self-care”!
Self-care this, self-care that. What exactly is self-care!?
The truth is many of us struggle to wrap our heads around the idea of valuing ourselves. Self-care is not a modern luxury. From Socrates in 5th century BC to Plato to Epicurean philosophers to Pythagoreans to Descartes to Lorde in the 1980s, the term initially touted as medical has been evolved to a political act.
Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation
— Audre Lorde
Self-care is building a life we don’t regularly need to escape from. Self-care means checking-in and prioritizing our relationship with ourselves. It should not be something we reach for only when our lives become overwhelming. It is about becoming more conscious and intentional about caring for our well-being strengthening our ability to cope with whatever comes our way. Self-care is setting boundaries when your over-dramatic frienemy wants you to drop everything you are doing to share her Tinder stories for the tenth time or saying “no” to your boss wanting you to overwork through your lunch break when you are dying of inanition or not beating yourself up for skipping the workout class because of unavoidable issues.
Self-care isn’t selfish; while setting healthy boundaries is pivotal for your sanity, isolating yourself from meaningful relationships and support networks are too risky. Before saying “yes” to an activity, committee, or event, take a pause and consider whether this new responsibility will add or subtract value to your life. There are no one-size-fits-all solutions when it comes to practicing self-care. Self-care quite literally means to take care of oneself which often demands discipline, confrontation, and being honest with yourself and people you interact with. Self-care and discipline are learned behaviors. And unlike those expensive self-care kits, they take time and isn’t something you can buy. The purest form of self-care has little to do with indulgence in goods and services. Asking yourself questions like ‘Did I get enough sleep? Did I eat right?’ and setting healthy rituals like journaling, meditating, and working out is the essence of self-care. Huh, doesn’t sound very glamorous now, does it?
Practicing self-care is a daunting process. Learn to pause and ask yourself, what is happening with me right now? What do I need to address? Why do I need to address the issue? Your feelings are information and data telling you what is wrong with you and life can be easy once you have an idea of what you need and how it will work with your life. The best thing is you don’t have to schedule self-care into your calendar; all you have to do is remember to make time for yourself and your thoughts.
Self-care has an impact that reaches far beyond what is immediately satisfying — when employed correctly, it carefully addresses needs in the present to cultivate a healthier, happier, and more stable future. So what choices will you make to nurture yourself today?
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