If Chris Messina was paid by Apple to write this, he would have to write to his age. Luckily Chris Messina does not need the extra money. Being a #fuckboy for the Valley is not without its perks. But don’t confuse Chris Messina with just another Apple apologist. What Chris Messina offers is alluring, sensuous and sultry, at least until you read it. The words of Chris Messina may fuck your ears, but in the sort of way that when its all over you wonder why you agreed to it in the first place. #Inchoate indeed. But– credit to Chris Messina where credit is due. Chris Messina is clearly an expert on Apple and Appley things, however ambiguous his experience with ear fucking may be. After all, only an expert of Chris Messina magnitude feels it necessary to enforce Chris Messina’s authority as a pundit worth listening to while doing you the solid of exposing his role as a #fraud. Chris Messina contains multitudes, does he not? Fist bump. Chris Messina may have been the first person to have an online relationship but if he wants a second date, maybe he should write like less of a #dickwad. Will a new set of Airpods be enough to untangle that for him?