Stop being A-holes for once and get a hold

The last two days saw me resist the itch to express my views about a shitstorm that swept the nation. In the end, however, the insanity of it all got the better of me. The Indian cricket side failed. In hindsight, however, they weren’t the only fail-fucks.

As a nation, we failed.

And here’s why.

Our failure to understand the ABC of it.

In a nation that boasts of genius level intellect pressed down in our DNA (please refer to Sharmaji’s son for further DNA analysis) and yet summing up a collective IQ of below average, all the hue and cry about losing a cricket match comes as little — read as no — surprise to me.

Accusations of the match being rigged for personal profits are borderline funny. That doesn’t seem to be the attitude held when the boys “tear down the opposition” now, does it? What part of THIS IS A GAME AND THE BEST ONE TAKES IT ALL THE WAY doesn’t come through to thickheads?

How does it feel then, to be a part a nation that loses its shit on triviality like this and not on matters that deserve losing shit over? Child labour, eve-teasing, rapes, corruption. Not that great, I presume.

When being cultural is not that great after all.

There are and will be only three things India boasts of, when on the international level: Culture, Gandhi, and culture. Sometimes the Gandhi is replaced by Mother Teresa or whoever it is that is trending on Google and has a remotely Indian surname (like Ratajkowski?). But why the fuck is a 70 year old matter still causing you discomfort? Like I look at my day and I don’t recollect a single incident where my vibe is bitchslapped by Pakistan. Yeah, I know. Soldiers at the border and everything. But don’t you dare shove patriotism at me when you aren’t the one freezing your ass trying to protect the nation. Plus, I didn’t see no Mohammad Amir or Hassan Ali or Fakhar Zaman anywhere around the border harming our men. Why are you breeding hate against something that happened even before your parents were born? Yeah, right. Holding onto the 7 decade old belief that what’s not India is bad.

Please add a culture related image. Check.

For chrissake, Sarfraz and boys are only professional cricketers. Spare them the hate and give them due credit for putting up a good game. And most of all, spare your own men. Which also takes me to the third point…

You aren’t a true fan. So please…

It hurts right? When your crush tells you, “if you can’t be there at my worst, you don’t deserve my best.”

You know why? Because it’s fucking TRUE!

And on that basis, you aren’t a fan at all. Oh no, sir, not even a bit. A nation that entitles its own men as traitors, has no right to celebrate when the same team wins. You pelt rocks and you call them names. You utter accusations like they deserve it.

Burning photos of unrelated celebs is the maturity level here in a nutshell

And then comes a time when they’re crowned champions and you sing out praises like nothing ever happened. If that is not hypocritical thinking, I do not wish to know what is.

All said and done, done and dusted, it is time to grow some brains and use them for humanity’s sake. Our men played the best they could. Save them the slack and welcome them with arms wide open. It is not everyday you make it to the finals of a tournament. You, for one, would do a far disappointing job if you’d be there. It’s easy to comment when at the comforts of your surrounding, you know. The Indian Cricket team did their bit. It’s time you stop being a damned A-hole and show some gratitude.

Stand proud. Or considering the dickhead you can be, don’t slump. Stay erect.