It is not easy to share a story. Especially when it is a hauntingly true account of a personal experience. When you confide in someone that you were raped your words should not be challenged. Unfortunately, it is often someone who was thought of as a friend who makes this mistake, whether it be unintentionally or intentionally. I cannot explain the fear I have faced to share this publicly with those I know. I continue to face fear that this public confrontation will incite further attack upon me. If you have a problem with me speaking up about my experiences, please reevaluate what conditions are affecting your anger. I am not causing your anger. Consider that it is the fear of the truth which torments you.
Within the story below are quotations which were said directly to me.
Did you say no?
Little pebbles thrown at me.
Are you sure?
Rough edges blotch my skin.
Rape is forced sex. Did he physically force you?
Fire is in front of me.
Well sometimes people say they were raped when they weren’t.
Ebbing water pulses by my sides.
It’s not standing up for the rapist it’s just finding the truth.
Thwack! A rock hits my skull.
Yes, maybe you did not want to have sex, but [he] never would have pushed sex on you if you told him so.
Blood inches down my spine.
I just don’t like hearing [him] being accused falsely.
Beads of sweat dot my brow.
I really hope you are joking cause that is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.
Bruises form beneath my discolored skin.
You shouldn’t be going around crying wolf.
The fire sears my lashes.
How did he rape you?
Sharp stones thrown in handfuls.
Rape isn’t something you go around saying just because it fits your agenda.
My blonde split ends start crackling like fireworks.
You probably deserved it you hoe.
The gravel embeds itself under my skin.
Labeling such an occurrence as rape is unfair to [him] as you group him as a rapist.
Salty tears evaporate off my cheeks.
The boy cared for you, he put you on a pedestal and would never do such a thing to you.
I wish I could do the same. To evaporate.
He did not rape you. Rape is forced sex. If anything, there just seemed to be a miscommunication.
Where does their allegiance lie?
Is it with the water and I?
As I walk forward toward the fire
My scratchy throat screams
Leave me be!
While pebbles spit from the mouths of my army
The army which lay behind me.