Dear Satya,
Windows Worries
Bein’ an ‘organizational expert’ in IT (see profile) I have, as you might expect, the odd t-shirt in updating / installing / and trouble-shooting stuff. Plus I’m a fully qualified Old Person (not entirely kidding here..) who has been around the block a few times. I tend to know How Stuff Works, and understand some words with more than 3 syllables.
So when my laptop started running slowly and downloading things I didn’t ask it to some days ago, I did not panic. I have my ‘other’ laptop to fall back on.. though as it turns out in this case I didn’t.
Laptop 2 was doing its best impression of a doorstop.
Prestidigitation. Plan B then.
Back to primary lappy: check internet connection, check for malware, pirates on wifi — run maintenance checks on the OEM apps… nothing. Back to basics. Try Windows Task Manager.
What’s goin’ on?
Hmmn. Windows Update is eating my CPU and bandwidth.. check updates: and yes! the April 2018 Feature Update is finally mine! -Except that it failed to install. Let’s do some searches to find out what Microsoft Support say about this…
I won’t bore you with the various suggestions I found — mainly from users — which ranged (over four years!!) from disabling AV to physically disconnecting the wifi board from the motherboard (which allegedly worked for some folks!!). I tried a few of the more practical ones, but got the same error each time.
Experience the frustrations of more Windows users here..
OK back to the hardware — ran an update check for drivers, one for device problems (again) — updated one driver I’d missed but it didn’t seem like to help. So OK — next step: lets shout at Microsoft a bit.
Tried their chat service. I’m the only person waiting (???) Only me in the whole world? P’raps not — but this side of the pond anyways. OK — first suggestion: let’s check if your laptop is compatible.
(Actually the first thing was “can I take over your computer and deal with this for you?” The answer to that was a solid NO. I know I’m talking to Microsoft — well, pretty sure anyway — and there’s nothing bad on my system [honest officer] but basic security — and some inner Sméagol says ‘don’t touch my precious’…)
And if you think that Microsoft can probably tell a lot about your Windows use.. you’re not paranoid. No way I want a full-time employee configuring my system.
I’ll admit the hardware is four years old, but it was a bit of a song and dance act when I bought it — and Windows Update is downloading the update “which includes security features” so surely it’s a standard thing…
Still let’s see. This is my computer / current Windows version (via a handy little utility called Winver) / and update details plus error number.
I’m invited to go to a web page to check what models my manufacturer has checked for compatibility.
Which leads to another page with l-o-o-o-n-g lists of model numbers. Which I scan down. And don’t see my model number. Fistral.
So the MS wonk with whom I’m chatting says “ Just to confirm , you are saying that you want to stop the updates for Windows 1803, Am I correct?”
So. The choice. 1) Let my computer keep on hitting itself in the face with a brick and messing up my day, or 2) Take away the brick.
“My gracious”, I said (honest) “I believe you are correct in thinking that I wish to stop repeatedly downloading the update you say is useless to me”
So we try to go to the Windows Update page (like you used to be able to do, in the Windows versions that actually.. worked.. you know?) but somehow he’s looking for a link that I can’t see on my screen.
Plan B (or should that be C now?) Go to this web page with a couple of links to Support pages about how to fix update problems. Big issues with that. The versions of Windows we’re talking about aren’t the same as the one I’ve got, or the one I’m trying to avoid. No, no — scroll down…
Ooh! Is this a dagger I see before me, or at the bottom of the page does that say “ Download the Show or hide updates troubleshooter package now.”?
It does. And I do… and it hides the update that my lappy should not have been trying to play with in the first place.
So, Dear Satya; I would point out that
1 - I actually don’t know whether this fixes my issues yet, though things look promising. You will, believe me, be the first to know if it doesn’t.
2 - if my issue is fixed, it’s cost me 7 days of my precious -to me at least- time, and an hour+ in chat to find a simple solution to fix a fault in your update software.
3 - given that your company strong arms its way into devices and installs updates without notice to users, shouldn’t you be a little concerned to make sure that the update is actually compatible with the hardware its supposed to run on?
I don’t hold out any hope of a response, but I hope this may have been a warning to anyone not using the latest updates — and there’s another one due to be released in October 2018.
Users protection will be:
> Find out what version of windows runs on your device
> Check whether you can upgrade. If so , and you want to - go for it
> If not, download the Troubleshooter and hide it
..and if you have problems along the way, go to Support’s chat line. They’re a bit slow, but they seem like nice people…
Oh — and if you’re worried about the constant drip of statistics that your computer uploads to the web, have a look at: O&O ShutUp10: A Free antispy tool for Windows 10
You could also use that to switch off Windows updates entirely (but it’s not recommended that you do).
That was going to be Plan D.
PS In weird synergy: my favourite IT mag The Register has a good headline today.
Ever wanted to strangle Microsoft? Now Outlook, Skype ‘throttle’ users amid storm cloud drama
