Rather you said ‘no’ than you didn’t know

I’d rather not hear an answer than risk not saying what I should have.

I’d rather you said ‘no’ than I didn’t ask.

I’d rather you said ‘not again’ than you never knew I wanted you.

I’d rather you didn’t take my hand, than I didn’t offer it.

Unexpressed feelings are like burning lava underneath the skin, traveling, swimming, roaming about, hurting everywhere they visit, not finding expression, not finding an opening. Regret occurs in degrees — things we wish we never did, words we wish we never uttered, actions we wish we never took. But no response is better than inaction. No is preferable to But I never knew.

We are more punished emotionally by the actions we never took, than those we did, and failed. We are never more out than we are when we do not take an action. If I desire to scale a fence and see what’s on the other side, what more can be worse than where I currently am? I could try and fail at it, time and again. Or I could try and successfully get over the fence.

I’d rather watch you ignore, than me not try.

I’d rather not find, than not search.

I’d rather not find a grasp, than not extend my hand.


A and 1.

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