We all have a life that no one sees on a daily basis. It is easy to be one thing at work, one thing at church and a completely different person alone. The hard part is remembering what those “roles” are and playing them at the right time. I admit I am the Tom Hanks of playing the most believable roles on stage.

I recently read a post on Medium written to his 20 year old self from his 30 year old self.

One of the things that struck me was the need to write such a letter. The fact we are not real with others is common but the few extraordinary people or rather happy people in this world that are authentic is very rare.

You should read the post because it is good advice for anyone not dead yet but more importantly you should apply the thought process to your present day. Stop pretending to be something and stop wasting time worrying what other people think about you. I am 44 and just recently learned the importance of being authentic in EVERY relationship not just the ones you thought were safe.

Where would you work if you could just speak up and do it? Where would you live if you had the freedom to decide? Who would you cut out of your life if you had the guts to stand up to them and walk away?

Most of us spend years in a relationship with people we wished would go away. I am not talking about a marriage because that should be fixed not thrown away. I am talking about friends or coworkers or even bosses. We can’t stand to be around these people but society says we have to be nice. My advice is stop being nice. Don’t have dinner with them. Don’t help them move. Don’t watch their kids. Don’t schedule events with them. They either don’t show up on time if at all or they change the plans and it sucks the life out of you.

WHY?

Simply put, YOU LET THEM!

I do love people and I have many friends. I promise if I am in the room or putting any effort into our relationship it is because I want to be there. I am past the point of pretending and spending time with people I don’t like. I also promise if this bothers you, that is your fault. What I think about you does not matter. Live the life God has for you and stop trying to make everyone happy or at least not feel uncomfortable.

This post originally appeared on Brandoncunningham.com