I awoke clasping my chest and frantically searching the room. The emptiness, the void that His absence had left behind in my heart was still fresh. I knew I hadn't been awakened by a nightmare, because one doesn't dream in Hell. Or as Sam calls it... Home. Instead, I'd been snatched from my slumber not by His absence, but Sam's. 
I quickly took hold of the silk robe draped over the gold rimmed bergère on my side of the bed and slipped it on, rushing to the door. The moment I opened it however, my breath was drawn when I found Sam simply standing there. 
His glistening gold eyes. His pearly smile, platinum blonde hair...his well perfect chest. He was wearing a cotton dhoti and nothing more. And upon seeing him, I instantly remembered not only why I was so startled by his absence, but just why I'd chosen to be his Queen in place of His condemned.
He was beautiful. 
"Why are you just standing there?" I questioned. 
"I wanted to see how long it took you to come looking for me once you woke up," replied Sam. 
"But why?
Sam took hold of my face with the gentlest of hands, staring deep into my eyes.
"Because I wanted to see how much you needed me," he said. "Down here, you need to need me, Lilith. I must be the air you breathe, the beating of your heart. You see, I must be what He was for you, and more even. Lilith...I need to be your God."
"But I have already pledged My soul to you," I reminded. "I am yours. I chose that yesterday."
"Actually, 700 years ago. I mean, that's how long it's been up there if you're..." Sam waved off what he was saying. "That's not important. What is important is that you never forget that oath, my Queen. I'm afraid I lack any sense of forgiveness and really can't say what sorts of unspeakable pain I would have to unleash on you if you did. I mean, I love you that much, that if you ever," his smile faded, "ever forget your promise to me, I would ravage you to that pretty little soul I was so kind to spare."
His words cut me, nearly drawing a tear from my eyes. For him to even think I would ever do such a thing, that he even needed to tell me... It hurt so much. 
"I love you, Sam," I swallowed back my sadness. "You do not have to say such words. I am yours, and I would never betray you."
Sam continued holding my face, staring deeper into my eyes. I dare say into my very soul. And after a short while, his smile returned ever so tenderly. 
"I believe you," he whispered. "And because I believe you, you're not in flames, razed, wailing in ungodly torment. You see, that's what my love can do, Lilith. It keeps you safe, happy. It makes you a Queen."
I knew it all already, but to hear him proclaim, display his love for me so unquestionably, it made me love him even more. 
"What do you say we ride mares today, all along the lake?" he grinned at me. 
"Actually," I removed his hands from my face, slowly leading him back into the room. "I have a better idea."
Sam laughed. 
"So... it's riding and a lake, after all?"
"More than you can possibly imagine," I returned his grin. "Adoration for my God."
"Ah," he exclaimed. "And this is why I love you."

Lilith's Journal (A Tale Of The Fallen: Lilith Coming Soon) 
© Grace Charles