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As a black woman married to a white man, I totally get this. My husband is woke though so while there is privilege, he recognizes it and understands a lot of where I come from. He grew up in a predominantly black area that was tougher than where I grew up and went to private schools until high school. He was in the minority in his school. All of his friends were black or Asian.

We talk very openly about race and sexism all the time. I call him out when he does things that I don’t like, like laughing at sexist memes on Facebook. He’s from a police and millitary family so we talk about Black Lives Matter as well. There are times where I see he has it hard too. He works with a bunch of racists who made the first week after the election difficult for him because arguing with certain people could have meant losing his job. He was more worried for the safety of myself and our daughter than I was when people started committing hate crimes in the aftermath of the election. I hadn’t really thought about the possibility of it happening in our town until he expressed his fears for us. We always make sure we’re on the same page.

The more we all open up about our concerns and express ourselves, the more we will all understand each other. It’s so important to call out the things we see when we see it. Thank you for this.