Pushing gender specific toys on children needs to stop
I was shopping at Walmart with my toddler daughter around the time that Star Wars: The Force Awakens was released. We were strolling past the toys when she said “look, mommy, the ball.” I looked around trying to see what she was talking about. We hadn’t passed the bin with the giant play balls so I knew that wasn’t what she saw. I scanned again and saw that she was talking about BB8, the round robot from the movie.
I backed up the cart to the Star Wars display and told her that BB8 is a robot. I hadn’t seen the movie yet so I tried to tell her what I knew so far. I make a habit of talking to her and not dismissing things she says so that she knows that her questions and curiosity is valid. Around the corner came a floor associate. Rare as this is to see in Walmart (at least where I live) I paid her no attention until she opened her mouth.
“You know, the girl’s toys are down there”, she said, pointing in the direction of a Barbie display. I looked at her for the first time and realized she was an older woman and I was raised to respect my elders. I told her politely that my daughter plays with whatever she wants to play with and I continued looking at the Star Wars toys. She asked a male associate what all of this (the Star Wars universe) was about and he tried to explain it to her. I strolled my cart away annoyed.
That incident was a while ago and I really hadn’t given too much thought to it until about a week ago. A Facebook conversation that happened on my husband’s page (that I decided to stay out of) annoyed me more than that incident at Walmart and made me think about how gender roles are pushed on children through play.
My husband went Christmas shopping for our daughter. He was so pleased with himself that he posted pictures of his haul on his page. He got Spiderman Legos, a Doc McStuffins kit, Finn from Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and a few cars. These are supposed to be her “Santa” gifts. He did a good job. He didn’t choose anything that she hadn’t picked up herself during other shopping trips or mentioned at some point during the year.
My husband’s friend’s wife decided to put in her unsolicited 2 cents. She basically told him directly that he was buying stuff for himself and that she was sure his little girl didn’t want those toys. That’s almost a direct quote. She also said that she was sure that my daughter, whom she has never met, would like some girl’s toys. It disgusts me when women contribute sexism.
As a mother, I refuse to limit my child. One of the best things my mother ever did for me was tell me that I could do anything I put my mind to. I regret not listening to her as much as I listened to society. When I wanted G.I. Joe toys as a child, I got them. I was called a tomboy a lot but I was allowed to play with G.I. Joe’s, Transformers, and anything else I wanted to. That didn’t turn me gay (because that is not how being gay works) and I still loved ballerinas and princesses. I refuse to stifle my child’s creativity by limiting her to one set of toys.
I wish people would stay in their lanes and mind their own business. This particular Facebook conversation ended with my husband defending his choices and her backpedaling like she was riding a wobbly unicycle in the circus. I stayed out of it because when I’m angry I sometimes have no chill button and that would have gotten ugly fast. This woman buys her kid overpriced sneakers then set up a public funding account for other “needs” and has the audacity to question our choice of toys. I question her morals on a few issues but I never go after her on her Facebook page for it.
My own sister even decided to weigh in after she saw the comments on Facebook. She said that if she had a child she would not let her daughter play with boy’s toys. I seriously don’t get it. My only response to her was that I feel sorry for any children she eventually has and that even if she didn’t allow her daughter to play with so-called boy’s toys, then that would still be her prerogative as a mother. My choices regarding my daughter are my business.
On the other side of things, if I had a son, I would still let him play with dolls or tutu’s if he wanted to do so. I refuse to stifle a child’s creativity. Children need to learn it is ok to be themselves freely and openly.
Here is the link to a good article on the subject https://www.bostonglobe.com/magazine/2015/02/27/the-problem-with-separate-toys-for-girls-and-boys/2uI7Qp0d3oYrTNj3cGkiEM/story.html
