Kwada turns twenty eight tomorrow and all that goes through her mind is “have I done well with my life?”
- Her life is plagued with questions like, am I in the right place in life? Am I living life? Is life living me? Or just existing?.
- She thinks aloud “there’s no really good reason for a celebration, but I would want an outdoor birthday celebration like a picnic, but it rains every day in August and the thought of it bothered her.
- A lot of things bothered Kwada.
Maybe it’s because this is her third time taking the bar exam and failing. Keep trying is what everybody says. Kwada sighs! They really know nothing like John Snow.
- Maybe it’s because she has been with different guys who live the same carefree life style. The one she is with presently is still not the one. What is she still doing with him though? She cannot even give an answer to that.
- She cries out loud “I’m not even living a promiscuous life so I don’t understand why God would not let at least one thing go right in my life. I’m not asking for much, just one thing.”
- The night she found out she failed the bar exam once again she went home to look for some encouragement but she arrived to more heartbreak. She arrived to loud screaming and angry shouts.
- Her folks were fighting again, so she quietly snuck to her room, put the door on lock, increased the volume to the max on her phone, slot in her ear piece, and then she cried herself to sleep.
- Well, daddy is a “hero” outside the home, a deacon in her local church. Everyone looked up to daddy for solutions and wisdom but he made mummy cry and she hated him for that.
- Should that not bother her? It didn’t.
She feared the future, the thought of it bothered her. Was being a lawyer her true calling or is that what daddy has decided for me because I did well during the memory verse presentations when I was in Sunday school?
- The thoughts in her head continue to bother her.
- Well, Bibi (her churchy friend) invited her to a youth meeting. On a normal day Kwada would have looked for an excuse to escape all this kind of things, but she jumped at the opportunity to escape from the madness in her house. “We can get ice cream afterwards,” Bibi promised.
- Maybe the ice cream will help to cool the anger in my soul, Kwada thought.
Bibi loves sitting in the front all the time and she had been like that since when they were in school. It bothered Kwada.
- The meeting started.
- She was in awe at how young people could come together to boldly love GOD and fellowship. They shared experiences, they cheered each other up, they held hands, they hugged... They were all so free.
- While she was still trying to logically wrap her head around all the display of love and fun she was seeing, a young girl looking all rugged and fierce came up, she did not look like a preacher but the things she said were about to change
- Kwada’s perception of life and herself.
To the broken hearted
To the lost and wounded
To those drowning in seas of darkness
The Spirit of the Lord says come
Your burdens, lay them at my feet
Take your pain, paint them with my love
Come, rest upon my wings
For there lies your healing
I am the spring of living water
I am your strength.
I am your help
Come, wounded lion
I am your voice with which to roar
I am your sword with which to fight
I am your portion in the day of famine
Don’t drown in tears anymore
Drown in me.
I will fill you with abundant life
The Spirit of the Lord says come
For I know you by name.
I have drawn up a plan for all your days
From the time of your birth.
I knew you.
I love you.
I am the one drawing you near
Listen to the silent whisper of my heart
Do you feel dirty?
I’ll wash you.
Do you feel worthless?
I’ll crown you with jewels.
Do you feel tired?
I’ll feed you with my strength
Come to me, for I am ever ready to listen
I am always here chasing after you
I am muffling the cry of your past hurts
I’m giving you a new life
I’m putting a new type of dance on your feet
Come dear child
I am waiting to give you peace
It will Rock your world
I am the Rock of ages
I’ll protect you, I love you perfectly
Like the sky loves the clouds
For even when they are black, the sky knows something as good as rain will fall from them.
I know that there is something good inside you.
I planted it in you
I am your Creator
I will lick you like fire, but I will not consume you.
I will only purify you
The Spirit and the Bride says come.
Enter into the heart of the holies
Take your number in the gathering of Zion
The Holy Spirit says come.
- Kwada found herself on the floor, this was her second first chance. As much as she knew, this was God. He was not as she far as she thought. He was here, He held her. She laughed and cried, she knew in this space and place that everything was going to change. And she was ready for it.
- Thanks for reading. Spokenword written by the amazing IYANU ADEBIYI. 💝📝😘 Thanks sweetie.