Idolise values, not heroes
“I want to become an inventor!
Mamma, who is the best inventor ever?”
My 9 year old is already looking for a role model in life! I tried hard to think of inventors. Graham Bell, Thomas Edison…. It certainly was an effort trying to recall names of great inventors. Honestly, I could not think of any contemporary ones barring Steve Jobs, Elon Musk —hope they qualify as inventors! I realised guiltily that the ease with which I could rattle off names of movie artists, cricket players, and politicians, I could not do that for inventors!
When I look around and see people idolising movie stars, cricketers, supermodels, and celebrities, I am worried. Bringing up children in a society where heroes are all about power, money, and fame is truly challenging. I always wonder what kind of role models will shape my children’s future!
Misplaced adulation!
We can’t blame people for their misplaced adulation or for worshipping heroes for the wrong reasons. These heroes are omnipresent. They invade our lives by hogging headlines, filling up newspapers, staring down from billboards, hijacking social media, and flooding our mailboxes. It is difficult to shrug them off!
But come to think of it, not all are undeserving. If we look past their surface level glitz and glamor, we can see values that are inspiring. Most of them have had years of hard work, extreme dedication, deep expertise, and stories about how they overcame adversaries to achieve their goals.
What’s worrisome is the misplaced adulation, which results in misguided emulation. Often, people overlook the hard work, determination, or other virtues that go into the making of the idols. They are typically smitten by the skin deep beauty, the transient two-minute fame, or the pseudo-effervescent lifestyle. This can be misguiding as they too aspire to live the heroes’ lives minus the hard work!
Celebrate values that you want them to idolise
Strangely, young children are not celebrity-crazed. Their idols are more real — parents, grandparents, teachers, uncles/aunts. They idolise people who matter to them, who motivate them, and inspire them. So, what changes as they grow up?
I believe what our children idolise depends to a large extent on the values we adults idolise. When children are really young and impressionable, they admire and emulate adults around them. If they see us give undue importance to money, external appearance, and fame, they too will grow up valuing these attributes. On the other hand, if we celebrate values like kindness, humanity, sincerity, curiosity, deep expertise, and hard work, they too will emulate these values and look for heroes who exhibit the same. Growing up, they would seek heroes demonstrating the same!
Seek idols who demonstrate excellence
As children grow up, encourage them to seek real-life heroes who demonstrate the values that you would want your child to emulate. If a child is passionate about music, help him/her find an idol who has excelled in music through passion and dedication. Similarly, if your child is science-crazy or loves nature, find someone who demonstrates deep understanding and expertise in these domains to be the right role model for your child.
That being said, values are extremely personal. Each of us have our own beliefs and ways of imparting them. What is critical is to ensure that our children connect with the values within an idol without being star-struck! How are you helping your child find the right role model?
