You make some important points.
As a former people-pleaser, I’m in the process of rediscovering who I am. It’s hard to be naked, knowing that many will judge me harshly, but I know one day I will 100% stop caring about what people think of me.
Instead of being who other people expect me to be, I need to be myself, but I can only do that when I’ve identified the real parts of ‘me’ and therefore do not need to be changed — and I can’t do that until I shed the social conditioning. And that’s the change that needs to be made.
My way of looking at this is, I wasn’t put on this Earth to please other people, to be who they think I ought to be. I wasn’t put here to do what makes them happy at the expense of my own happiness.
It’s unbelievable how much social conditioning I picked up over the past 34 years. It feels like a giant tangled ball of wool that I have to unravel. But unravel it, I must — knowing that as I unravel, dead wood is being pruned from myself and my life (I’ve already experienced some pruning, but this happened pretty much automatically — life has a magical way of doing this). I take comfort from knowing that the pruning creates space for new, inspiring people to come into my life, and with that comes new, exciting experiences that lead to discoveries of better ways of being.
It’s worth doing this from a spiritual point of view. It’s a WIP and I suspect it will be a WIP until the day I pass on.