First kiss

sweet, soft and a lot of heart pounding…

I had mine on the summer of 2005, it was the season of attending review classes for university entrance exams. Me and my best friend decided to go to one of the known review centers in our province back then, the only issue is the distance. It’s 2 towns away from me and it’s 4 towns away for my best friend. But the travel time was all worth it. ☺ Learned a lot, yes. ( I even passed the exam and got accepted to my dream university ☺) and had good and unforgettable memories as well.

On the first day, of course it was just me and Vivi (my best friend) on our way to the centre. As we arrived, we were instructed to look for our names to know which classroom we were placed. Used my fingers to find my name on this very long list.. browse browse browse… boom. A familiar looking name caught my attention — I was just looking at my pre-school yearbook a week ago(YES there’s such a thing! LOL) and I remember seeing that name, beside mine. I was the one conducting the national anthem and he was the one carrying the Philippine flag. I don’t even know that kid, maybe he’s in a different class that time. We were basically just 5 steps away from each other on that picture, and that was enough for me to remember his name. And recognize it as i saw it on that list.

That cute little boy back in my pre-school years isin the same review class as I am. Wow. I’m not excited coz we don’t really know each other, I’m just curious how he looks (now). Anticipation filled me in as vivi opened the door. Vivi is smaller than i am so I let her go in first. I was standing behind her as I scan the classroom. I saw him. That flag kid. That boy. I easily recognized him. He briefly looked who opened the door, we had an eye contact for awhile then he continued talking to his friends. Vivi asked where do we sit? I immediately spotted the chairs close-by that kid. I chose the sit an arm away from him. LOL ☺ ☺☺ had no intentions of any sort that time. i just want to find a seat at the back row and somehow close to him. i was drawn to him. but i don’t know why. on our way home.. him and his friends were all walking in front of us, vivi (being herself) immediately noticed how cute he is. So. she gave me a nudge to walk faster and closer to them. I laughed inside. HAHAHA. so yeahh we did. we even took the same jeepney with them. Inside the jeep, first introductions were made — well maybe first impressions as well. hahaha… he’s charming i should say. but i can feel that vivi likes him so i backed off. ☺ just happy to have a new friend.

Days passed. we started hanging out with them. we started to be close. well coz the 3 of us always ride the same jeep on our way home everyday. there’s just this unexplainable connection. Until one day, vivi asked me “what if the person you like, likes someone else?” i asked her, do you know the person he likes? she said “yes..” and there i got that gut feeling that she’s talking about the boy. i was selfish to feel *kilig (filipino term for that butterfly-in-your-stomach kinda feeling) to the idea that it might be ‘the boy’ but i immediately felt guilty thinking of being kilig and there my friend is hurting. All i could say was, “well don’t help him at all to pursue the girl. if he does, let him be.”

which after a few days the boy indeed start to text me more frequently, he started to flirt with me — while eating or during our jeepney rides. everything happened too fast that i just realized i fell for him already. and i did fell hard.

during those time, i’m technically single. BUT i have this mutual thing with a guy/friend for 3 years now. (we never officially dated, but somehow the context of what we have is same as dating..) soooo there i am again feeling guilty for liking someone when i know i should be liking the 3-year guy.

weeks passed. and the boy is making his moves more obvious. as the last week of our review classes was nearing, he admiited that he likes me and that i think he broke up with his gf? — i can’t really remember but that’s what he told me before. i really liked him that time. he has it all, my concept of ideal guy (at that time…). on our last day, we talked somewhere just me and him. he asked me, i told him i can’t — still not allowed to have a boyfriend. then he asked if he can kiss me — for the love of me I don’t know why i agreed. i’m just smitten. totally smitten.

“close your eyes” he said

‘okay’

i felt his hands touching my face, he removed my eye-glasses.

it feels like i’m waiting forever for something i don’t know.

i can feel him moving closer.

i can feel his warmth.

and then…

his soft, warm lips touched mine.

it stayed there for a minute or so, but it felt like a lifetime for me. i feel like i can light up the whole town with the electricity running through my body. I can feel my knees getting week. and then he put my glasses on and stand there, i opened my eyes. he looked at me and smiled. i don’t know what i looked like coz i’m pretty sure i tried to smile but i don’t think it happened. and he gave me a ring. and told me to always think of him and that moment.

who will forget their first kiss? of course i’ll always remember that moment. ☺

that wasn’t the last time we saw each other. but our love story ended somewhere in between of that day and our senior year.

he tried at least twice to check if there’s still a chance, once during college and another before i return to Canada. but i guess it was my fault dodging him away. well…

maybe it’s good that way. so that the magic of my first kiss was preserved. ☺

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