Should I Have Kids?
Amy Cao Smith

I’m a guy & so not really qualified as an advisor.

Reasons or results. Reasons are ephemeral. But a result might be a beautiful baby who needs you and may magically help define your gifts to the world beyond any reasonable expectation!

It’s a small sample size, but I’ve known quite a few women before and after their first pregnancy and have been kinda blown away by how much more substantial and interesting they became after. Mysterious.

No reasons & no amount of leaning in at age 30 will buy you a safer or easier pregnancy at 35 or lower the risks for your kid. In this context, postponing pregnancy to “make them squirm” feels like a very small victory. Was that you being light-hearted?

Don’t let enviro-catastrophists tell you being born and living aren’t worth it. Their end-times never begins and never ends.

A line I remember from a Landmark forum long ago: You are whole and complete in this moment. Maybe that’s too zen, but striving to be complete with a career or accomplishments or with a baby may not actually be a real thing. Maybe it’s just an ephemeral reason.

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