Eulogy for Donald Fitzpatrick

July 3, 1927 — April 20, 2016

Obviously losing our father and for our mother, a husband, we are going through a roller coaster of emotions. There are so many questions. We ask why? As with any loss, we wonder; why do we have to lose good people and those we love? Naturally, our faith helps us through that process. However, as time passes, that notion changes. While the question still remains, the reasoning behind it alters drastically.

It is not the loss that stirs the most overwhelming emotions because our Father has left so many values, so much wisdom and so many virtues that live on strongly. I personally feel so much of who he was, such a big part of me and his peace so powerfully surrounding me. But what floods my eyes, buckles my knees and will undoubtedly cause my voice to crack or pause at length as I read this Eulogy is the incredible generosity, the heart-pouring kindness, the unending good deeds, warm embraces and comforting words from our extended family and friends. As a testament to our parents over 50 year marriage, my father’s family and mother’s family are truly one family and their friends, all mutual. I believe the kindness we have been shown is a direct reflection of my Father’s character.

But even more than that reflection are the everlasting attributes that remain extremely visible-

Perhaps you’ll soon notice that crooked Fitzpatrick smile like our Father had that I know will soon reappear on myself, my brothers and our sons. -

Or my Dad’s ability to speak, communicate and write which I hope has influenced the Eulogy I’m presenting right now. Most likely it will never be as eloquent as his writing. And trust me this Eulogy greatly misses his proofreading. I will miss having an editor fix my grammar and misspellings.

Always holding the door for a lady, shaking hands with a firm confident grip, honoring your commitments, making your bed to start the day and always dressing appropriately for an event, holiday or church — all characteristics I hope are still alive with our family and remain with our children. Ultimately, characteristics that are part of the Code of a Gentleman. Because I’ve never actually tried it but I’m pretty sure if you were to look up the word “gentleman” in the dictionary there would be no words or definition, more likely there is simply a picture of my Dad.

There are also other values beyond being a gentleman that apply for all of us and the rest of his grandchildren. Values that weren’t taught by lecturing or preaching but by example:

Never be ashamed to do something nice for someone.

Learn from your mistakes. As children my brothers and I made plenty of mistakes and our Father let us know it. Ok so maybe Jack and James made a lot more than I did :) but the parable of the Prodigal Son was so influential to our Father. No matter what we did, how bad we were as long as we were accountable for the mistakes we made, we were welcome back home.

Read to your children. My earliest memory was the sound of my father’s soothing voice reading to me as a child. Something we must all do for our own children.

Growing up in the Bronx during the Great Depression, Uncle Ray, Uncle Gerard and my Dad were naturally baseball fans. Despite their location and being born in 1927, the era that the New York Yankees were beginning to build their dynasty, my Dad was no fan of the Bombers. His family originally came from lower Manhattan so they were New York Baseball Giants fans. Ball was important to the Fitzpatricks but not just baseball, any ball. I can remember Uncle Gerard always asking me as a kid in his deep voice with a slight New York accent, “Playing any ball, are ya, this year, Gene?” No particular type of “ball” just “ball” of some kind. Any type of ball was important. And now it all makes sense.

The aspects of “ball” coincide with many of the values my Father and his older brothers shared:

1) Compete, play hard and do your best

2) Have fun

and finally, the most important one…

3) Work with a team.

Be part of something bigger often putting the team, others and the overall good above yourself. Community was central to everything my Dad did and was. Because as humans we need more than just food, water and shelter to survive. We need each other. Whether it was serving his country as part of the Navy during the end of World War 2 and the beginning of the Korean Conflict, the variety of sports teams, glee clubs, company organizations at Exxon or coaching our teams as kids, my dad always gave back. This Church we celebrate in right now, the foundation of this Parish built by my parents and many parents and families like them over 40 years ago. Literally until the day he died and even beyond he is a consummate volunteer for the St. Therese Knights of Columbus

The final lesson we learn from our Father; you can never say “I love you” to your family enough and you can never say enough to your children, “I’m proud of you”. Everything we’ve done & do is to ultimately make you proud. But that doesn’t just result in personal satisfaction for us, for me. If we made you proud that means we’ve done something for a greater good, we’ve helped another person or the world at large. Those are the things that made you most proud like when Jack and James became Knights themselves, or any effort I’ve done to give back to the community.

I started by mentioning how your loss doesn’t seem fair at first. As time goes on we’ll realize we had more than our fair share; a roof over heads, food on the table, help with our education, help with a first car, family vacations — all this despite our Father having grown up dirt poor without a father of his own since he was 5 years old. A testament to how his generation was the Greatest Generation to which many of you here today are also part of. Certainly those aspects left us better off than some.

We’ve always had someone to ask about everything and anything because Dad knew it all, history, sports, politics, current events. Our Dad has won Jeopardy every night at home for the last 30 years.

At nearly 89 years old he was still sharp as a tack and greatly mobile, despite the cardiac issues over the last few years, making for an outstanding grandfather, or PopPop to our children . And just 3 weeks ago he still had the skills to crawl around the floor with my youngest son. Something not many can say they’ve had.

However, this is still one part that is greatly unfair…

Out of the 7.1 billion people on this earth in over 4.5 billion years of this Earth’s existence. Out of all of those hundreds of billions of people that have ever lived- Only three of us out of that enormous collection of individuals, only three of us; James, Jack and myself. We are the only three that have ever had the privilege, the honor and the blessing to have Don Fitzpatrick as our Father.

I am so proud of you Dad. I love you.