I’m Rooting for John McCain’s Soul

When I was 19, I had an aggressive, cancerous tumor in my head. It wasn’t technically a brain tumor. But, it encroaches upon the cranial nerves, cranial arteries, and brain stem. It’s a very bad disease.
Happily, I was very, very lucky — in part because I had fantastic treatment.
Since then, I’ve met and talked to so many other people with brain tumors. I can’t speak for all of them, but I can share part of my experience that tends to be extremely common.
Diagnosis kicks off a period of existential dread that reaches a maximum during treatment (for us lucky ones.)
Most of the world turns gray…
It feels out of focus….
…except…
…some things suddenly reveal themselves as essential, with shocking coherence.
It’s a cliche, but you really do peek behind the curtain of your experiences and see how basic things could and should be. You’re suffering. And, you realize how horrific it is to not be suffering and let others suffer. The experience imbues you with a sense of empathy that last for a very long time.
So, when I saw so many people on the left saying, essentially, that John McCain deserves glioblastoma…
…Jesus. Fucking. No.
Glioblastoma is not justice.
It’s not vengeance.
It’s something else.
It’s a primordial force that rips your soul out of your body and tosses it into oblivion.
And, you feel it happening.
No one deserves that shit — to be, undone.
But, let me be clear: Senator John McCain should be saturated in the clarity existential terror provides right now.
If he votes yes, he’s taking sides with that dreadful force.
If he votes yes, he lost his soul a long time ago.
