I tell people all the time, it’s never your fault. You did nothing wrong.
But I can’t accept that myself.
Guilt is telling myself, no I shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
Guilt is wondering, am I exaggerating what happened?
Guilt is dreaming about people accusing me of lying and me not fighting back.
Guilt is getting that sinking feeling in my stomach every time I think about it and automatically wonder, did I make it up?
And then the flashbacks begin and I’m thrown head first back into the confusion, the betrayal, the emotional pain, the reality.
And the guilt.